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bindra.arya
January 1st, 2005, 08:24 PM
hi
i'm in love with a bengali girl, she also admits her love for me. but our cultures n values are absolutely diverge, apart from the fact that we are committed to each other and want to see this relationship as a success. my family stays in a village and she is from an urban educated bengali background. its her suggestion that i discuss this over here and garner few opinions if possible .

dahiyars
January 1st, 2005, 10:29 PM
Dear

I think only you are the person who in consultation with your beloved can resolve the issue positively by pondering over all the issues. The mind and heart both should work in integration. Even arranged marriages are under great strains these days. I wish a successful love marriage for you. In Haryana otherwise there is very little space for this type of love marriages as our psyche is still very feudal. If we are intelligent enough we can tackle the problem of rural and urban background. There may be lot of emotional blackmailing to suggest you to break this relationship. Now it depends on both of you how much you love each other.

Once again with all the good wishes

Dr.R.S.Dahiya

coolguy
January 2nd, 2005, 03:24 PM
hello parvinder...
although this is your personal matter.....but if u want suggestions from your community ..then definitely there will be a lot....
well it does not matter the background...whether rural or urbun..bcoz ultimately she has to live with u...and if u both love each other..and understand very well..then there is nothing to worry..
There would be come tradition clash..but u can manage..by adjusting ..
but before starting your new life just consider all situations..look and think whether u r able to sustain..once u started then u should not move back..
and last ....try to convince your family......
wish u happy married life...

kulwant
January 2nd, 2005, 09:49 PM
Bhai it was good to see you seeking suggestions from jatland members.
Whatever it is, I think you must not ignore the wishes of your parents also.....after all you owe something to them too.

You have said that you love this girl and i am sure that you must be loving your parents too. So, also convince your parents before jumping on any conclusion.
Its your very personal matter.
I am not saying that i am against such type of marriage or in favour of them.

It is my personal oppinion.

uday
January 2nd, 2005, 09:50 PM
Bhai Malik Sahaab,

Bhai Aaapke or appke "to be" partner ke ques. ka answer ka ek te dhorey bhujja padwaya.. or answer usne ek yahin ke member dhorey bataya..

want to know who can answer you..???

then pls..



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YOU ARE THE RIGHTCHOICE MALIK SAAAB.
YOU HAVE TO DECIDE AT YOUR OWN...

In Lighter Mode...
Sardak pe bethey od moddey to pissey de ke salaha diya karain..
Per addey merey jisey bhailog free main salah daniain narey se...

Best Wishes for your decision.
God Bless You.
Stay Tuned
Uday





hi
i'm in love with a bengali girl, she also admits her love for me. but our cultures n values are absolutely diverge, apart from the fact that we are committed to each other and want to see this relationship as a success. my family stays in a village and she is from an urban educated bengali background. its her suggestion that i discuss this over here and garner few opinions if possible .

sonam
January 3rd, 2005, 09:27 AM
It is both your decisions entirely. You are asking this question here suggests that you care for the opinions of your people and maybe your parents. You have written that you are from village and you must be thinking of your future maybe living in the village or even if in the city but in touch with your rural parents. Tell her frankly what lies ahaed to prevent unnecessary heartbreaks later on as love can go soon out of the window if faced with hardships. And if everything is clear and acceptable to both parties from the very beginning then so be it and nothing like it. Rare to find true love. Best wishes for the future.

jagmohan
January 3rd, 2005, 11:04 AM
Dear Parvinder,

My advice is very simple and straight.

There is no harm in loving and wanting to marry a Bengali girl. However, let LOVE not blind you. Think ahead before taking a decision. As Kulwant said do consider your parents sensibilities. Talk to them frankly and I am sure they will understand and help you take a correct decision. And don't forget to tell your Bengali friend your way of life. Can she live in a village and adapt to your way of life? Don't bother about Urban - Rural stuff. If she is from Kolkata she may not adjust but if she is from some smaller town of Bengal it would not be a problem. Our villages are as good or bad as any small Bengali town.

But do let us know the result of all this discussion.

JS Malik