afairs before marriage-RIGHT OR WRONG--JOGI JAT

[jogiya]

BHAIYA NE RAM RAM JOGI JAT KI MEINE EK QUESTION BUJHNA THA TAMPE JAWAB HO TE DIYO BHAI :rolleyes:

Should one indulge in the afairs before marriage or not? this is a critical question take your time to vote because it happens in most of ours life in the young days and that sometimes effects the life of one's in the latter stage also this also effects us some when we don't want it to effect us so please share your views by giving the options you think right and also tell the india + nri society what is the right options your answer will be viewed by many ?
thanking you

JOGI JAT ;)

www.indiannri.com :cool:

[ajayverma1973]

Being a Jogi Jat u should not ask such questions, aapko to Sansar ki is moh maya se door kahin kisi jangal mein tapasya karni chahiye.

Please don't take is seriously.

Just an advice.

Regards,

[rkumar]

Bhateeje,

Affairs are never bad as these are between two hearts. haan affairs me shayar ban janaa bahut dukh dene wala hota hai jogiya ...aur jis speed par tu shairee likh raha hai, use mujhe pakka yakeen hai ki tere saath jaroor kuch jor ka jhatka laga hai. aur ya fir wo teri non-stop shairee se saturate hogar tujhe chor gayee.....LOL

RK

[amar0974]

O Ho Bhai Bhul ka bhey mat pad jayey isey chakkara ma, in AFFAIRS ka kaata paani bhey nahi maanga karta. :)

[scsheorayan]

In our culture it is not acceptable but in Western culture it is not a big deal. If you want to follow their culture you did not have to ask this question. The fact that some where in your mind there is a thought that eventhough it is not allowed in traditional culture in the name of progress one can get an exemption. There is identity crisis here. First sort out who you are and you will receive your answer automatically.

From what I know about Jats you will not find many supporters of premarital or post marital affairs on this web site.

[jogiya]

yaah te ghane theek kahi bhai, ;)
INDIA IS A CULTURED SOCIETY.
aer bhai yaa baat te pure ka pura sansar jaan se aak hum hindustani sache aadmi saan khaas kar jaat te sudhe bolan aale sen jo maan mein se boal diya

JOGI JAT :rolleyes:
http://www.indiannri.com :cool:

[jogiya]

JOGI JAT ;)

bhai yaah baat te theek se ek yeh saab bekar sen par agar tum ne galti te marriage te pehla pyar kar bhi liya te usne nibhao aur puri trahe se nibhao.
PYAR WOH KARO JO NIBHA SAKO,
WARNA BHUL JAO. :mad:

JOGI JAT :cool:

http://www.indiannri.com :)

[raj2rif]

I think it is a personal choice of an individual. Socially, it is not an accepted norm in our society. But again how do we define an affair. Is a friendship between a boy and a girl called an affair? Each one of us have a different perception of an affair. Unless we define what one means by an affair, it is very difficult to comment on the topic. If affair means sexual relationship, then surely it is not a socially acceptable thing in our society. This definition of affair after marriage is also not acceptable in Western Society as well.

[jogiya]

JOGI JAT :rolleyes:

yaah te ghani badhiya baat kahi aap ne COL sahab par ke karein kaye baar balak galti kaar jaya karen sein par agar unne galti kar bhi layee hai to bhi pyar mein kaara wada nibhake apna prayaschit kara ja sake sai.
mein te aap loga ke aage ek chot sa MODA balak sun naam se JOGI mane te yahe samaj se. :o
JOGI JAT :cool:

[raj_rathee]

Hmmm...

Wasn't it some famous Indian figure who was behind the well
known quote:

"Having an affair is my birthright, and I shall have it !"

Surely, these enlightened souls could not be wrong !

[raj_rathee]

My apologies here. Looks like I was a bit off on the quote. A little
bit of research revealed that it was actually "Swaraj is my birthright"
and can be attributed to some fellow called Bal Gangadhar Tilak, who
had something to do with the freedom struggle.

O' man ! To think that all this time one could live on a misquoted life
of alliances and dalliances !

But all said and done, I guess I wasn't all that off. "Swaraj" actually means
"Freedom", and from Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913) [web1913],
we have the following definition for "freedom":

"
6. Improper familiarity; violation of the rules of decorum;
license.
"

Ah ! All's well that ends well ! Long live Tilak !

But seriously, moving away from the quote....

Having an affair (before or after marriage) is, by no stretch of the imagination,
wrong. If it were, it'd be a crime, and every time those little heart things
started percolating out of our chests, we'd be slapped silly and dragged into
those dingy little rooms with metal bars.

Having said that, every society, and the sub societies within them. have their
own set of dos and donts. And there are consequences. If you are
prepared to handle the consequences, then go for it ! If you can't...well...you
pathetic...

As they say, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime ! If you can't face the
consequences, then don't indulge in affairs. Or at least move to a place
that is more accepting (heard those Indian metros are just fine !). I mean
if you are gonna have an affair, and you are gonna have it with a Jatni from
a village, and that Jatni has two or three monstrously huge brothers, then you
better know what you are getting into before you come running to us with
your sorry behind asking for advice ! We ain't gonna be of much help !

But if you are gonna have one with that petite little Punjaban in that far
off place called Bangalore, and her brothers shiver at the very word 'Jat', well
then.."Way to go bro...you stud you !!"









Hmmm...

Wasn't it some famous Indian figure who was behind the well
known quote:

"Having an affair is my birthright, and I shall have it !"

Surely, these enlightened souls could not be wrong !

[jogiya]

bhai suke maje leen ki na se re kade kade kime kaam bhi kara karo
AARE KADE KADAU MESSAGE BHI CHOAD DIYA KARO KE ANGREEGY MEIN KAHYA KAREN SE REPLY BHI KAAR DIYA KARO

JOGI JAT ;)
http://www.indiannri.com :cool:

[jogiya]

jogi jat


reply please


jogi jat

http://www.indiannri.com

[raj2rif]

jogi jat


reply please


jogi jat

http://www.indiannri.com

Dear Mr. Gehlawat,
Are you discussing some social issues here or want to promote any website?

[anujkumar]

nice job...




My apologies here. Looks like I was a bit off on the quote. A little
bit of research revealed that it was actually "Swaraj is my birthright"
and can be attributed to some fellow called Bal Gangadhar Tilak, who
had something to do with the freedom struggle.

O' man ! To think that all this time one could live on a misquoted life
of alliances and dalliances !

But all said and done, I guess I wasn't all that off. "Swaraj" actually means
"Freedom", and from Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913) [web1913],
we have the following definition for "freedom":

"
6. Improper familiarity; violation of the rules of decorum;
license.
"

Ah ! All's well that ends well ! Long live Tilak !

But seriously, moving away from the quote....

Having an affair (before or after marriage) is, by no stretch of the imagination,
wrong. If it were, it'd be a crime, and every time those little heart things
started percolating out of our chests, we'd be slapped silly and dragged into
those dingy little rooms with metal bars.

Having said that, every society, and the sub societies within them. have their
own set of dos and donts. And there are consequences. If you are
prepared to handle the consequences, then go for it ! If you can't...well...you
pathetic...

As they say, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime ! If you can't face the
consequences, then don't indulge in affairs. Or at least move to a place
that is more accepting (heard those Indian metros are just fine !). I mean
if you are gonna have an affair, and you are gonna have it with a Jatni from
a village, and that Jatni has two or three monstrously huge brothers, then you
better know what you are getting into before you come running to us with
your sorry behind asking for advice ! We ain't gonna be of much help !

But if you are gonna have one with that petite little Punjaban in that far
off place called Bangalore, and her brothers shiver at the very word 'Jat', well
then.."Way to go bro...you stud you !!"

[rbalyan]

Hi,
Like the saying goes " Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder", same is true about affairs. It's your personal choice. I'm not talking of boys/gals living in villages. There it could bring big problems. I'm talking of guys living in cities , getting higher education.
Before starting anything ( not just affair), think of it's repercussions, pros & cons, your expectations and their fulfillment. If you feel ok, go ahead. One has to make his decisions, do his mistakes and face the life.You can't just ask 100 people if it is right or wrong.They may tell what they feel. Still it may not be right thing for you.
Just don't cheat other person and also don't allow yourself to be cheated. Zindagi mein happy rahne ke liye pyar ( romantic love) aur paisa dono chahiye.But there has to be a balance.My personal view is that it is a source of joy, and one should taste it , if you can.
- Rajiv

[deepika]

see.......according to me nothing is good or bad.......everything is neutral........its upto people how they take it.....everyone has the right to decide what is good or bad for him.......and when it comes to such things one doesn't think twice about it.........for instance sage VISHWAMITRA and MANEKA's story......hope you got my point and will not get me wrong.

[jagmohan]

Dear All,

If an individual can differentiate between 'An Affair', 'Pyar', 'Ishq', 'Mohabbat', 'Prem' and 'Hawas', the chances of going wrong are remote.

I also believe that a normal person does go through most of these emotions in his life time. An 'Affair' per se gives a negative vibe. 'Affair' happens when one is hiding something.

Another issue is that about the 'Right & Wrong' of it. It is as one sees it. What is right for you may be wrong for others or vice versa.

Lekin agar kisi ne apni jindagi mein sachha 'Prem' kiya hai to vo shayad yakinan ek bahut badi baat hai. Prem kisi se bhi ho sakta hai, not necessarily with a girl/woman only.

Regards,

JS Malik

[kuldeepsingh]

Premarrital relationship may or may not be there. But the way it is being discussed is not correct . Most of us are discussing it by centering their sexual relations. there are many more significant aspects of premarrital relationship. should not we cocentrate on that?

Kuldeepsingh

[baljit]

Bhai JOGI :)

Just enlighten you "Affairs" had cost "Bill Clinton" his US Presidency. Baki all the best JOGI Bhai.... You are Innocent until proven guilty, and I can't start any inquisition here. Thus, you're honorably acquitted.

Go ahead Dear Khulli chuute sain. :D

Baljit :cool:

[baljit]

Deepika... ;)

I don't think Maneka and Vishwamitra had affairs....I think Maneka use to "Entice" this Great sage.

I didn't get your point... :confused: . What you wanna say...??

Baljit


see.......according to me nothing is good or bad.......everything is neutral........its upto people how they take it.....everyone has the right to decide what is good or bad for him.......and when it comes to such things one doesn't think twice about it.........for instance sage VISHWAMITRA and MANEKA's story......hope you got my point and will not get me wrong.

[ramksehrawat]

Pre-marital relations just for physical pleasures can never be approved of and must be avoided as they usually tend to spoil the later married life. We Indians, especially jats, tend to view friendships between a girl and a boy as affairs. We have to rid ourselves of this mindset. If two friends of opposite sex find themselves compatible, the relation must be nurtured to culminate in marriage as such marriages are mostly successful. People think that love marriages often fails. Yes, the so called love marriages entered into for based on physical attraction usually falls apart but the bond based on intellectual compatibility remain strong till last. Friendship must be encouraged but the so called "Affairs" should be avoided

[rajeshrathee]

Hi all

Wht is more important is one should differentiate between INFATUATION & LOVE.

Secondly there has to be a distinction between AFFAIR & FRIENDSHIP, all these are different worlds having alltogether different meanings.

The topic is affair before marriage, now if an affair is leading to a marriage wht is the harm. after all love and understanding is the basics of a successful marriage and if these two things are already there then a marriage is bound to be successful.

Now a days time is changing and so are the mindset of the younger generation and I will again say that if a mature guy or girl is given the right to choose the government (i.e right to vote) then why they should not be allowed to choose their soulmate afterall this is their lives and they have evry right to live it the way they want to live. But if the people are more concerned about wht others are doing rather then what they themselves are doing it ups to them BUT U JUST CAN'T DECIDE URSELF WHT IS WRONG OR RIGHT.

Regarding two people having physiacal comfort without marriage i think it is a basic decision between two individuals who are involved though it is morally wrong as per our society but where it is not happening, its happening in villages, towns, metro everywhere

[scsheorayan]

Even old timers will agree that every one should have the right to choose life partner. That is only fair. But the issue is not that straight forward and in our society your life is never all yours because of attachments we have with other family members. Traditionally the decision is a joint one where every one is happy with the matrimony of 2 individuals. The problem comes when individuals want to do their own thing and still remain part of the family. It may not always be possible. If you have to choose between your love and family make the decision and live with it without regrets if you can. There are no ifs and buts. You have to be lucky to be envious position to do your own thing against family members wishes and still enjoy the same type of relationship with them. Otherwise it is expected that new ties will affect the old ties adversely if there is no harmony.

The idea of try it before you buy it is not accepted in our society atleast up to now. Who knows about future we may leave western civilisation behind if every one is bent upon reinventing the wheel. No traditional and self respecting Indian / Jat will support the notion of premarital affair. Meeting and knowing the person is not called an affair. In my dictionary affair is when two individuals have established physical relationships (which should not happen before marriage).

Let us call spade a spade and not try to justify our arguements in the name of mdernisation. If you believe in a culture follow the rules and traditions which are based on centuries of experience.

Name Jogi and premarital affair do not match. But then what is in the name ?

[rajeshrathee]

Sheoryn Sir as per ur dictionary the Meaning of Affair is WRONG. I will request u to change ur dictionary. Let me share with u the word affair is not given by two individual, it is given by the other person(outsiders) to that group.

Will u please tell me who is the best friend of a person in his/her life, who is the one who shares all the downs with a smile , its none else then ur partner, not even your family members will share that much.

Why there should be a compulsion from the family to a younger one. Thora bahut to sabko jhukna hi padega nahi to rigidity se to family tree tutega hi.

Or bhaiyo nahi mante to mat maano agli generation main dekh lena tjab bhudape main bahut taklif hogi.

**(The above are my point of view and the same is not intended to hurt anyone personally, PAR GALAT KO GALAT KAHAN HI JAYEGA)

[scsheorayan]

Dear Rajesh,

Thank you for your frank posting. First of all let us agree on a definition of Affair. What is the original question ? Affair before marriage what are we talking about here in your opinion ? Once we have the definitions shorted out we will be able to converse more objectively on this subject.

You are right about changing values of younger generation. Not to worry every generation starts young and ends up old gaining some experience on the way. Life is a great teacher and there is no substitute for experience. When we talk about flexiblity usually it is found that more mature the person greater his/her adaptability. It is not the question of who is right or who is wrong. There are always opinions on both sides of an arguement. However what we can not argue with is effect of a cause. If we introduce a cause by the name Affair in our lives whether it is before marriage or after marriage there is absolute certainty that it will have it's consequences.

Here the mention of partener's loyalty is taken for granted but then it is not an affair instead I would call it a healty relationship between husband and wife. That is only one dimension of the personality. Before these two individuals became life parteners they must have had lives with their own family members. No doubt priorities do change after marriage and they should. But one should not expect to be an island because that does not happen in real life. Human beings have multiple dimensions in their lives. At any given time you could be some one's boss, some one's sub-ordinate, some one's son, some one's father, some one's husband. Even though you are one individual but have different dimensions. Most important dimension being time. A person could be successful in one dimension and utter failure in the other one. To be successful and happy in life one has to learn to optimise one's resources to obtain balance in all important dimensions in one's life. In my opinion word affair suggests individual is up to some thing which he/she is going to do without any external consideration. That in turn is going to upset the balance within other dimensions.

There is only so much time and energy an individual has at his/her disposal and more of it is spent in rocking the boat and stabilising it less is available to move forward in life. You can not prevent some one from following the wrong track but can surely warn him/her of consequences. Rest is all destiny.

[balbirbeniwal]

Jogi,
If You are not jungle Jogi.

affair and marriage with same person. It is God gift.

It is very expansive gift. Good luck

[balbirbeniwal]

Jogi,
If You are not jungle Jogi.

affair and marriage with same person. It is God gift.

It is very expansive gift. Good luck

[s_katewa]

bhai yogesh.....
agar tumhara chakkar kahi chale to mere ko bhi tips dena...... :p

[mansi1218]

WEll I dun have d answer of dis question but regarding d 'title' I surely wanna say something :D If its "AFFAIRS" then i dun think its a gud thing 2 do,rest is up2 people,lol!

[paaritosh]

It all was planed by indra there was nothing that related to vishwamitra or menka

coz a grt mind can do any thing like he did with these two .