Page 4 of 19 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 14 ... LastLast
Results 61 to 80 of 376

Thread: what about intercaste marriage?

  1. #61

    intercaste marriage

    bhai intercaste marriage ke baare mein mein bhi kuch kahana chatahu........
    jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai to vo caste,amiri garibi nahi dhekta ........kyoki pyaar sharto par nahi vicharo ke milne par hota hai.....ye baat nahi hai ki apni caste mein vichar nahi milenge .......lekin meine ye mahsoos kiya hai ki jab aapko koi acha lagne lage to aap ke liye caste ek second thought ban jati hai.........
    vaise bhi sabko apne tarike se jine ka hak hai...........usse jo pasand ho vo karne ka hak hai to shadi kyo nahi.............
    mera ye maana hai ki jo aapko samje jise aap samje aapko shadi ussi se karni chaiye...........rahi bacho ki baat to kisse pata hai ki vo kaise honge.......mein intercaste marriage ke against nahi hu.........
    Harish Dahiya
    gaav:kidoli,sonepat
    right now in:Delhi, India

  2. #62
    Quote Originally Posted by rajeshrathee View Post
    Two perfect example of successful Love marriages

    1. Mrs & Mr. NAVIN GULIA Bhai

    2. Me and my wife

    and we are :p :D


    But it depends on the maturity level of two partners and also on their education and that you have to differentiate between love and infatuation.

    Ravinder bhai we still love our family and parents the same way we love our wife
    rajesh bhai saab mein aap se bilkul sahmat hu..........aur kuch kahne se pehle dua karta hu aap log aise hi ek dusre ko pyaar karte rahe...........
    mein ye samjta hu agar aap apne parents ke saath ache se rahe unhe samje aur vo aapko samje to intercaste marrriage koi problem nahi hai...........meri parivaar mein mere cusions ne love marriage hi ki hai vo bhi ek nahi tin bhaiyo ne.....aur vo aaj khus hai aur succesfull bhi..........
    mein ye manta hu ki agar aap koi pasand aane laga hai aur aapko lagta hai ki aapke parents nahi maanege to pehle apne parents ke saath baat kijiye usse pupose karne se pehle........agar aap apne decison lene se pehle unki rai lenge to vo paka aapke saath honge.............
    Harish Dahiya
    gaav:kidoli,sonepat
    right now in:Delhi, India

  3. #63
    Quote Originally Posted by ramksehrawat View Post
    Inter-caste, ethnicity, compatibility etc. etc. very heavy words, sir ke uppar ke uttar ge. What a paradox that we are talking about inter-caste ! Inter-caste marriage for jats is not a matter of choice anymore. Rather it is a necessity. Why? Because, we committed the sin of killing the brides in their mother's womb and played havoc with sex-ratio. After all about 20% boys have to look for girls from out of their caste courtesy infanticide. Take a round of 3-4 villages and you will find many B'deshi Salmas married to jats.
    This is exactly what I said Sehrawat Bhai .... that its a neccessity now for our race .. and what I proposed was finding partners in compatible clans like Rajputs, Yadavs, Gujjars, Pashtun, Arabs, Turks etc .... rather than buying malnourished, illetrate, social-outcasts from Bihar, Orrissa, Bengal & Bangladesh ....
    Foot Soldier - Azad Hind Fauj - becasue the struggle is not over yet

  4. #64
    Email Verification Pending
    Login to view details.
    Now a days when you see the Jat culture in the cities even like Rohtak, you find People being more & more influenced by Punjabi culture and rituals even if we make a semblence of following our own rituals. The media being what it is most of us dont even know old Jat rituals and marriages & Other functions are celebrated in a very morden way.

    If you are worried about adjustment of cultures dont worry as there is hardly any culture left which is not an assimilation.

    even in our villages women are now being imported from Himachal & assam because of a shortage of women.

    I think that Intercast marriages are not a problem but the problem is the fear of the loss of identity. but why should that be if you are proud of being a Jat and teach you children about the communty.

    Many of us are ashamed of talking in Haryanavi in public whereas everyone else from Kashmit to Kanyakumari will talk in their mother tongue.

    Our insecurity should go and only then will we have no problems in such things as intercast marriages.

  5. #65
    Quote Originally Posted by kharub View Post
    This is exactly what I said Sehrawat Bhai .... that its a neccessity now for our race .. and what I proposed was finding partners in compatible clans like Rajputs, Yadavs, Gujjars, Pashtun, Arabs, Turks etc .... rather than buying malnourished, illetrate, social-outcasts from Bihar, Orrissa, Bengal & Bangladesh ....

    What you suggest would have been the ideal alternative, Kharub sahab, but Rajputs and Yadavs are in no better position as regards sex ratio. Pashtuns, Arabs and Turks is very difficult proposition as they hardly like Indians, though I personally know a couple of jat boys married to Pashtuns but they are settled abroad. Arabs and Turks are averse to coming to India and settling down here. Moreover, the shortfall has affected mostly those jats who are poor, not much educated, mostly unemployed and staying in villages. Whose else, other than those from the Eastern part, would like to live in a Haryana village.
    JAT - Justice And Truth

  6. #66
    Quote Originally Posted by ramksehrawat View Post
    What you suggest would have been the ideal alternative, Kharub sahab, but Rajputs and Yadavs are in no better position as regards sex ratio. Pashtuns, Arabs and Turks is very difficult proposition as they hardly like Indians, though I personally know a couple of jat boys married to Pashtuns but they are settled abroad. Arabs and Turks are averse to coming to India and settling down here. Moreover, the shortfall has affected mostly those jats who are poor, not much educated, mostly unemployed and staying in villages. Whose else, other than those from the Eastern part, would like to live in a Haryana village.
    Sehrawat Ji,

    It is indeed a very complicated situation ....... Yes you are right that Yadavs & Rajputs have the same drastic situation like us ...

    A lot of Pashtuns, Arabs & Turks that I know are very positive in their opinion of Indians and especially Jats when they know them from close.

    I always had a very good connection with Arabs from the very first day I went abroad .. they are very Jat in attitude and confidence

    Well Pashtuns might be willing to come and settle in India .. but yes I am sure not many Arabs & Turks will be willing to do so ....

    We also have Jat communities in Pakistani Punjab, Sindh, Baluchistan ... but religious differences might be a serious problem to counter in that case.

    Well in that case Jats Males settled abroad should take foreign wives so that there are more eligible females available for our brethren in India.

    What I am proposing is a general theory ofcourse individuals dont marry for the race and society but for their happiness ....... but I think we should all have societal & racial considerations in mind as well when choosing our partners .......... as we belong to a race and the survival of which depends on our maritial choice .......
    Foot Soldier - Azad Hind Fauj - becasue the struggle is not over yet

  7. #67
    Email Verification Pending
    Login to view details.
    I think marriage should be by choice and comfort level and not by compulsion of doing it in a limited sphere. After all its a question of your entire life.

    See the primitive context. Jats were marrying into themselves and are either farmers or in defence.

    Then why are now we are in different fields and doing extremely well.

    Now just think that someone giving some limited professions that a JAT should work in these professions only?

    If tommarow I am in trouble then my wife or immediate family members or true friends will come to rescue none else.

    Now I have some questions are all of our customs are justified in modern context? The unfair decisions by the so called "Panchayats" are fair? No because I think that the educations broaden the outlook of a person and if all the so called panchayat members would be atleast a graduate then the decision would be different. Is it practible to call a husband and wife as brother and sister at a time when the wife is pregnant? So a person will tend to be influenced by the customs of other castes if they are found to be simple, justified or easy to follow. Why the barat are not staying for 2/3 nights now a days while it was a practise in the past?. Previously 3 gotra were avoided for marriage and now it has came down to 2 at many places ,Why?. Sahar main rahne walein apne ghar main 'bhais' kyun nahi bandhte? Purane time main husband ki maut ke bad dusre bhai ko latta udhane ki pratha ,(without considering the educational/maturity level) aajkal kaun jat ladki ya ladka brdasht karega?

    Its very easy to talk of ideologies or telling someone to follow ideologies but are we following those. Every human is having different circumstances and the a decision taken at that time is influenced by those facts. There is a difference between saying and doing the same thing at different times.

    Isliye jo man main aaye karo, its your personal life, but take care of your family and take your family to a higher level then where your parents have brought that earlier.
    Last edited by rajeshrathee; January 6th, 2007 at 11:51 PM.

  8. #68
    Main intercate marrige ke khilaf nahin hoon. Par ek baat kah sakti hoon ke intercaste marrige kam kaamyab hoti hain. Isaka matlab ye nahin hai ki apni caste main ki hui shadi kaamyab hona jaroori hai. Par intercaste marrige or apni caste main shaadi ke baad ki problems alag alag tarike ki hoti hain. Phle to dono ek duste ke liye sab kurbaaniyan karne ko tiyaar rahte hain or shaadi ke baad dono ek dusre se yahi chahte hain ki kurbaani dusra de. Intercaste shaadi kamyaab na hone ka ek kaaran ye bhi hota hai ki hum jis maahol main or jin reeti rivajon ke beech bachpan se pale bade hain unko shaadi ke baad chodna mushkil hota hai , yahan tak ki khaan paan main bhi frq hota hai , sunne main ye baatein lagti to bahut choti hain par baad main yahi choti choti baatein badi ladai ka roop le leti hain or kitna bhi kuch na karo tum rahoge paraaye hi unlogon ke beech ye dono traf se hota hai. Phir inhin choti choti baaton ko lekar ek doosre ke khoon lak ko gaali di jaati hai ki tera to khoon hi esa hai or teri to jaat (Caste) hi esi hai . Maine ese bahut se case dekhe hain. ISILIYE JAHAN TAK HO SAKE SHADI APNI HI CASTE MAIN KARNI CHAHIYE NIBHANE MAIN AASANI HOTI HAI. Or jahan tak ye pyar vyar ki baat hai ye sab bakwas hai thode din ka bukhar hota hai .
    shadi ke baad wale pyar main jo attoot bandhan hai vo pahle pyar karke shadi wale pyar main nahin hai. Pehle to ek doosre ke liye marne ke liye taiyaar rahte hain or shaadi ke baad ek doosre ko maarne or kadam kadam par neecha dikhane ke liye tiyaar rahte hain ek bhi moka haath se nahin jaane dete.
    Agar kisi ko meri baaton se chot pahunchi ho to maaf karna.
    Last edited by kamnanadar; January 7th, 2007 at 01:42 AM.

  9. #69

    Panchayats are Just & Democratic

    Quote Originally Posted by rajeshrathee View Post
    I think marriage should be by choice and comfort level and not by compulsion of doing it in a limited sphere. After all its a question of your entire life.

    Rathee Bhai sahab you are absolutely right, but marriage in traditional terms is essentially a social ceremony and the love and all these concepts have been recently imported into this institution from the WEST ...... I am not saying there is anything wrong with the new editions , but they are alien to our traditional model

    See the primitive context. Jats were marrying into themselves and are either farmers or in defence.

    Then why are now we are in different fields and doing extremely well.

    Now just think that someone giving some limited professions that a JAT should work in these professions only?

    I am sorry to say Bhai Sahab, but this is not the only reason Jats have married internally. Jats have also pursued a lot of professions historically from being Kings & Conquerers, Traders to Farmers, Colonists, Doctors & Entreprenuers ........ And a sense of community is much more stronger than a need to marry internally

    ... Look at Jews they do everything from scientists (Albert Einstein) to Bankers (Rothchilds) to Politics (dont need any names here do we) to Journalism (Wolf Blitzer - CNN) to Hollywood (Woody Allen, etc) ......... they dont have any need to marry internally but they do ......... because the concept of a race is much more stronger than a need to marry ........ And anybody who has pride in his her blood should see it as a want or a duty and not a need



    Now I have some questions are all of our customs are justified in modern context? The unfair decisions by the so called "Panchayats" are fair? No because I think that the educations broaden the outlook of a person and if all the so called panchayat members would be atleast a graduate then the decision would be different.

    Rathee bhai sahab a lot of people that we follow did not have any formal education. Education does enlighten but it is not the only criteria to judge someone's intellegence & intellect. A lot of leading personalities were "self-educated". You have people like Eisntein who did miserably at school and people like George Bush - a graduate fo Yale University.

    And our community elders maybe not educated but are capable nonetheless.
    The Panchayat system in not a "Dictatorship" but a very just and open system when the community decided what is right or wrong and if you live in a community you have to accept it.

    Panchayati system is not how you have portrayed it - unjust & cruel. It is rather democratic, taking into account the feelings of the wider community and not just a few people. It is a fair system.

    I have seen many a literate idiots ... trust me having a graduate degree is no gurantee of intellegence



    Is it practible to call a husband and wife as brother and sister at a time when the wife is pregnant? So a person will tend to be influenced by the customs of other castes if they are found to be simple, justified or easy to follow.

    Evil is always easy to follow and a person who gives into the easy should not be a part of a community and can do as he/she please. Its very hard to build, maintain and continue a community.

    As for the particular incident you are talking about, Yes the particular decision was harsh and maybe unfair too, but this is why we have a system to follow.

    They should have checked these things before getting married, cmmon we all know what is accepted and what is not and if someone still goes ahead and does wrong , knowingly or unknowingly this must be punishable and is in the legal system.

    Yes the decisions might seem unfair and irrational from a personal angle, they are very impotant form the social perspective as they set the future trends.

    If you donot check what is the permitted level of alcohol for driving in US and have 4-5 pints of beer and then caught driving, you think the offficer will buy your excuse of not knowing how much is the legal limit. - NO

    Its your duty to find that out before you get drinking and then drive. Same here ...........



    Why the barat are not staying for 2/3 nights now a days while it was a practise in the past?. Previously 3 gotra were avoided for marriage and now it has came down to 2 at many places ,Why?. Sahar main rahne walein apne ghar main 'bhais' kyun nahi bandhte? Purane time main husband ki maut ke bad dusre bhai ko latta udhane ki pratha ,(without considering the educational/maturity level) aajkal kaun jat ladki ya ladka brdasht karega?

    The biggest problem with us people is that we percieve Westernasation to be Moderenisation ...... Its not so. We have our own ways of doing things and we should modernaise in our own way and not follow the western set-up as a guide for modernisation.

    The changes you are talking about are not fundamental changes ........ a "bhais" does not make a Jat a Jat ....... but the shortcuts people have stated taking these days does not mean that it is the right way


    Its very easy to talk of ideologies or telling someone to follow ideologies but are we following those. Every human is having different circumstances and the a decision taken at that time is influenced by those facts. There is a difference between saying and doing the same thing at different times.

    Well this individualism that you are professing is the very Western Concept that is at odds with our culture, people & Quam. Jats have always done things for the community the whole Jat System is community based and so are our traditions.

    If it was all about individualism, you would be able to marry any female and nobody would give a damn about the Gotras ...... you could marry your cousin if you wished to do so ....... But thats not the case

    And this western inspired "Individualism" that you are professing is what is killing our values and culture

    Our practices and culture has always been ideology & community based and not guided by personal whims. This individualism is alien to us


    Isliye jo man main aaye karo, its your personal life, but take care of your family and take your family to a higher level then where your parents have brought that earlier.
    This is not a Jat thing do do whatever you want, we live in a community and not in a Jungle ......... Yes if you are not proud of your community and want nothing to do with it ..... then feel free to do anything you want .... but if you even remotely care about who you are and where you belong. then you should (and I am not saying must) follow your traditions ......... this is what makes you who you are - A JAT
    Foot Soldier - Azad Hind Fauj - becasue the struggle is not over yet

  10. #70
    Quote Originally Posted by ssgoyat View Post
    WAaH yudvir mor sahaab......dil khush kar diya aapne to :D

    me bhi banglore aa raha hu, for my new joining there......aapse jarur milunga:p


    Cheers....

    and mr.hdsura......jaatni's are tough to handle ye to thoda bahut sahi hai:rolleyes: ..par
    Jats are too unsophisticated for others to carry on.......ye bilkul galat hai....:o
    Its seems really very nice to see the changing views of the community.
    People are understanding the basic idea of getting married.
    Its like some revolution has taken place in our community.Probably because of education people are coming out of boxes.

    Its doesnt mean that i am in favour of inter-cast marriage.Its the matter of
    happiness and growth of two people, two families and two culture together.And if its happening with in the same community then nothing can be better than this but even if its happening within two different community...is there any harm??
    I dont think so.But still i would prefer to get married in my own community
    if i find a suitable match definately.

    And here i agree with Mr. Yudhvir Mor but only if Jat guys is successfull..:-))
    And nobody can under-estimate jatni's.They are also in race.They are smart,Intelligent,working, social,good home-maker almost all qualities...Am i right?What do u all say....
    "So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter."
    -- Gordon William Allport (1897-1967), American psychologist

  11. #71

    Dear Kamna Bahan,

    Dear Bahan Kamna,
    Myself from Firozpur.
    U r from Gothni, Ramgarhi, Bhutgarhi or Bhunna Jatan??
    Very nice to see one more from NADARYA gotra.

    This is a burning topic now a days.

    As education, socioeconomic & living standards are changing day by day, we need to accept certain changes.
    If the change is positive then it is well & good.

    If the two who have to live their life together are from good families then I think it should be accepted irrespctive the caste they belongs to.

    We all are having some rural touch whether we are in Delhi, Mumbai or Newyork, Helsinki.
    So we face these problem more than others who do not have such rural background.
    But by the time we can manage it I hope.

    Bye Bahan
    RAHUL NADARYA (or NADAR)
    Firozpur
    Khurja
    Bulandshahar
    UP
    FIGHT FOR A BRIGHTER INDIA

  12. #72

    List of Intercaste Marriages

    Dear All,

    Can we have list of Inter Caste Marriages at JATLAND?
    - Caste Wise -

    Bye
    FIGHT FOR A BRIGHTER INDIA

  13. #73
    Quote Originally Posted by meenu_singhch View Post
    Its seems really very nice to see the changing views of the community.
    And here i agree with Mr. Yudhvir Mor but only if Jat guys is successfull..:-))
    And nobody can under-estimate jatni's.They are also in race.They are smart,Intelligent,working, social,good home-maker almost all qualities...Am i right?What do u all say....

    We cant affort to under estimate jatanis.

    I went through this thread and ppl have collective opinion that we should go for what we like and love is all about chemistry b/w 2 ppl.

    Most of us here mentioned that we will marry in our community only.

    I am not able to understand 2 things here

    1. Do we know how to love somebody?

    2. Are we trying to be calculative and opportunist in relations?

    Most of ppl here advocate that guy/ gal must be successful...

    It’s a bitter truth that arrange marriages are kind of business where we want just best.

    We are part of this portal because we belong to same caste as I earlier said Jat is not a caste, it’s an attitude.

    Do we think it will be same and our kids will discuss things with same zeal here if our spouses belong to some other caste?

    Animals do what they love to do. We are human beings and governed by some principles and some values system

    I believe getting married in our caste is a part of that value system.

  14. #74

    Intercaste Marriage

    First of all, Ram Ram to all members,

    I think it is not good to go beyond the community, because the man is a social creature. So, we should have some boundaries to respect others feelings. Before doing this everyone should think over these points :

    1. Whatever you are going to do, if your parents did the same in their age, what would be your situation.

    2. Is our community have lack of intellectual lads or lasses, if not, why you are leaping in others house?

    3. Today, you are fascinated by his/her body, will it remain the same till the end of life?

    4. What will be the identity of your kids?

    5. If she / he is in love with you, can she / he not be with any other, while your position is not good.

    If your love is accepted by the community then there is no problem.

    The decision is at your end. None can stop you.

    Bahadur Sinsinwar

  15. #75
    Can u enlighten us on what 'are' the 'jat things' to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by kharub View Post
    This is not a Jat thing do do whatever you want, we live in a community and not in a Jungle ......... Yes if you are not proud of your community and want nothing to do with it ..... then feel free to do anything you want .... but if you even remotely care about who you are and where you belong. then you should (and I am not saying must) follow your traditions ......... this is what makes you who you are - A JAT

  16. #76

    Kya baat kahi hai!!

    Quote Originally Posted by bahadur1 View Post
    First of all, Ram Ram to all members,

    I think it is not good to go beyond the community, because the man is a social creature. So, we should have some boundaries to respect others feelings. Before doing this everyone should think over these points :

    1. Whatever you are going to do, if your parents did the same in their age, what would be your situation.

    2. Is our community have lack of intellectual lads or lasses, if not, why you are leaping in others house?

    3. Today, you are fascinated by his/her body, will it remain the same till the end of life?

    4. What will be the identity of your kids?

    5. If she / he is in love with you, can she / he not be with any other, while your position is not good.

    If your love is accepted by the community then there is no problem.

    The decision is at your end. None can stop you.

    Bahadur Sinsinwar

    I am totally agree with you for, Whatever you have written here.

    And rest is on the individuals, how they think of it?
    "Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life."

  17. #77
    Quote Originally Posted by priti View Post
    Can u enlighten us on what 'are' the 'jat things' to do?
    Jat things coem with a gut feeling ....... and you are probably much more smarter than me and I couldn't possibly enlighten you or anybody else ...

    I just state my views ... I leave enlightenment to "Massihas" on this site ... and there are many here .. so if you are looking for enlightenment .. I would be the wrong person to expect it from .......
    Foot Soldier - Azad Hind Fauj - becasue the struggle is not over yet

  18. #78
    -got posted twice-
    Last edited by priti; January 10th, 2007 at 01:20 AM.

  19. #79
    Dont get me wrong Vishwajeet, sorry for being sarcastic. But its really frustrating to read so many misgivings by people when they themselves haven't experienced it. When they claim that love marriages are less successful and such people change after getting married, they are selfish, living nightmares (ok, i'm exaggerating a little) and so on and so forth...where are the statistics to prove that this is the case, in my opinion, such cases get highlighted because they are love marriages in the first place (dialogues like 'aur karlo punjaban te byah'). And to be honest people who are strong enough to marry out of their own choice are also likely to stronger not to stay in bad marriages.

    I have an intercaste marriage and I come from a very conventional jat family...and believe me, it has been nothing but a pleasure for me and for my parents and none of my relatives (except the people who crib over falling rain) have changed their attitudes because they understand that its my choice and they care for me as much as I do for them. I admit you have go that extra mile to get everyone on side but that much you can do for having a life partner you want...

    I'm also not saying that love marriages are the best option, i agree it can definitely give you a lot of headache is not properly thought out. As I said before in this thread, if you have total conviction in one person then go ahead otherwise leave it to your parents.

    My point is that having an inclusive approach does not mean you have to change entirely and that you do not remain a jat (which i understood from your last post). All my family, relatives (both sides), friends know me as a proud jat woman and having a partner from another community does not change that, I'm the ambassador of my community and I do not want to let it down by having a exclusionary approach. It is a part of my identity, attitude and language and it'll be an inheritance to our children.

    This is just to give people the other side of the story...marriage is a very personal decision.

    As for the macro level problem of sex ratio...this is an outcome of bad things being done in the past and present...there will be consequences...and tying the victim (the female) again in the shackles (as you suggested in a post that the guys can marry anybody of superior race they want but jat girls should only marry in the community because many of them have been killed in infancy thus less in number) to provide a solution to a crime that has been committed against her...its like punishing her all over again for being less in number...lol...now thats not fair...is it?



    Quote Originally Posted by kharub View Post
    Jat things coem with a gut feeling ....... and you are probably much more smarter than me and I couldn't possibly enlighten you or anybody else ...

    I just state my views ... I leave enlightenment to "Massihas" on this site ... and there are many here .. so if you are looking for enlightenment .. I would be the wrong person to expect it from .......

  20. #80
    .
    Jatlanders had forgotten this thread after 7 November 2006.

    On 27 December 2006, I posted my thread Jat – 36 Koum Ka Jamai !! (in humor section), giving a link and referring to this thread. It was a coincidence that on the same day, a news item appeared in The Tribune which I posted here in this thread (post No. 40) – without any comments. Now, it is a hot topic but I do not take the credit for this.

    Ironically, the member who started this thread is shown as ‘banned’ at this moment (reasons not known to me). What poor Prashant Chaudhary might be feeling at this moment?

    Is there a relationship between seriousness of ‘General Talk’ and kilki of 'humor' forum? Maybe so - by giving links or making references. Just guessing !!
    .
    Last edited by dndeswal; January 10th, 2007 at 01:40 AM.
    तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •