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Thread: ## Shaadi ##

  1. #21

    Talking

    Yaar main ye Suna hoon ek baar hone ke baad 7 janam tahin peecha na chorti ye chhori ..... per haade to kai 2 bhi ker lein hain or 3 bi ...... unki ke har time 2 -3 ho hain thoda prakash dalein .......

    Ye thread to Bollywood walon ko pedhana chahiye ....... Abhi kisi ko contact ker ke bolta hoon
    Sanjeet Ahlawat
    "Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas." - Marie Curie
    +91 9873485784
    ----
    :p:D

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by sanjeetsparp View Post
    Yaar main ye Suna hoon ek baar hone ke baad 7 janam tahin peecha na chorti ye chhori ..... per haade to kai 2 bhi ker lein hain or 3 bi ...... unki ke har time 2 -3 ho hain thoda prakash dalein .......

    Ye thread to Bollywood walon ko pedhana chahiye ....... Abhi kisi ko contact ker ke bolta hoon
    Bilkul sahi suna hai aapne bas chori ki jagah chora likhna tha !

    Ye 2-3 ke case me jara twist hai ..... 7 janam inme proportionately bat jaate honge shayad :o ..... BTW, contact hua kisi se :p

  3. #23

    Talking Utna to mere ko bhi nahi peta

    Kaya karoon Shweta Madam ..... kuch samajh nahi aa reha hai .... or doosre office wale ek jegha pe jayada din baithne nahi dete na ... kehin bhi panucha dete hain ... khud shaadi kera ke baithe hain or akele aadmi ko basne nahi dete .... or bina time ke bas telephone operator ban sakta hoon .... us se jayada kuch nahi .....
    Sanjeet Ahlawat
    "Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas." - Marie Curie
    +91 9873485784
    ----
    :p:D

  4. #24
    why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level,
    he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for
    the odd times, and thus inevitable ?


    There is a moral side to this question as well: should people get married?
    Is life better, for individuals and for society at large, when people get married?

    These are those big questions for which centuries have gone to be answered.But y these
    questions arising in our culture......coz married couples, whose numbers have been
    declining for decades as a proportion not only of western countries but now in our
    culture n in our country too.


    a)the answer to that depends on a lot of variables, such as country of residence,
    cultural expectations, familial and friendship influences, education, etc.
    b)Country does have a large indication in this along with cultural things.
    c)It's culturally based too. It's even more obvious in Indian cultures where the woman
    must marry as a sign of prosperity.
    d)Marriages are made in heaven or so we assume. But in truth marriage is a mere
    social custom developed in order to maintain discipline in society.I guess
    even without social license people are intelligent enough to select the partner that
    suits them best and keep their life in order, so wats more dere to b controvers....
    why do we marry, marriage is necessary or unnecessary.

  5. #25
    We marry so that all (omit us) live with peace.

    Thanks,
    Sumit



  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by shwetadhaka View Post
    It’s customarily said, marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth.

    It’s the only crucial relation that bestows upon an individual the freedom to choose the one with whom he or she desires to live together for whole life ! It’s a time-honoured and exultant institution and has come of age and continues to be a tradition still germane.

    But still some questions may not be out of place to be asked. To begin with, the first question is why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level, he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for the odd times, and thus inevitable ?

    Interesting !!........
    Noone is digging out the actual cause. let me wait till truth comes out
    Last edited by prashantacmet; February 20th, 2008 at 10:49 PM.
    Become more and more innocent, less knowledgeable and more childlike. Take life as fun - because that's precisely what it is!

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by shwetadhaka View Post
    It’s customarily said, marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth.

    It’s the only crucial relation that bestows upon an individual the freedom to choose the one with whom he or she desires to live together for whole life ! It’s a time-honoured and exultant institution and has come of age and continues to be a tradition still germane.

    But still some questions may not be out of place to be asked. To begin with, the first question is why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level, he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for the odd times, and thus inevitable ?

    Marriage...:eek:...Its all about hope...

    "As long as we have each other we'll never run out of problems."
    :eek: I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
    :D There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
    Let's agree to respect each other's view, no matter how wrong yours may be.

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by shwetadhaka View Post
    Well, I don’t agree Kabir ! I am not yearning to be an educator when I say that its not marriage it’s the people coming together that are the sole decisive elements as to how they end up shaping this bonding like. A marriage can have deception to lay its foundation on or it can have understanding to keep it going gleefully ever after !

    Man is a social creature however independent he may be or how much tech savvy he is. There is always a void in every human being that needs another human to make him feel complete and loved. And there is no substitute of love. Parents have their own role to play, friends have their own engagements to cater to but the need for some identified soul to be always around doesn’t know such designs. So I guess marriage must have been devised to keep two souls reserved for each other, forever !

    And, about your conviction as to who wants to live in an institution, I can just say nothing comes without a cost, if someone wants a person to be around only in his dreadful epoch then it isn’t that easy. And I guess survival without a soothing soul isn’t practically possible. A commitment for lifetime is a serious deed indeed ! And if one can arrange for such a heavy commitment without an institution then its fine but risky affair indeed, and if one can dispense with any kind of emotional cushion then I have no words !
    Quite ej...err...articulate but I am afraid you're confusing (or is it deliberate?) marriage with love. Regarding the deception thing, niether of us is qualified (I can vouch for my bachelorhood and I am not deceiving) to comment. As regard the commitment thing, intially one's commited to one's partner, then to the byproduct of marriages (children) and by the time your fledgling ducklings grow wings and fly away, you're too old to try new things.

    More often than not it's not commitment but circumstances that prevent you from walking out of a relationship.
    Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room!

  9. #29
    Oh...And marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
    Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room!

  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by raj_rathee View Post
    Marriage...:eek:...Its all about hope...

    "As long as we have each other we'll never run out of problems."
    Well, some people don't beleive in miracles, rather they rely on them ..... so that means marriage keeps one equipped in this hoping and relying stuff:rolleyes: .... how hopeful it turns the whole situation ..... variety of problems and still a hope of how to be a problem ! :D .... confusing indeed!

  11. #31

    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by kabir View Post
    Quite ej...err...articulate but I am afraid you're confusing (or is it deliberate?) marriage with love. Regarding the deception thing, niether of us is qualified (I can vouch for my bachelorhood and I am not deceiving) to comment. As regard the commitment thing, intially one's commited to one's partner, then to the byproduct of marriages (children) and by the time your fledgling ducklings grow wings and fly away, you're too old to try new things.

    More often than not it's not commitment but circumstances that prevent you from walking out of a relationship.
    Well, your bachelorhood oath is taken on record Kabir :p ....and as regards the commitment vs. circumsatnces thing I can just say that both are beyond our control so that doesnt makes any point as to why one should refrain from getting married !

  12. #32

    Thumbs up All the Best

    Bhagwaan kare sabhi ki (jinki nahi hui hai) jaldi se shaadi ho jaaye..!!
    Jo jaha bhi chaahta ho wahi ho jaaye...but ho jaaye


    Meri to dili tamanna thi ki LOVE marriage karu but kya karu...

    Padhaai aur books ke chakkar me LOVE bechara wahi ka wahi reh gaya. Kabhi bechara ho hi nahi paaya kabhi...sochte hi reh gaye bas

    But now I have found the solution...

    By converting Arrange Marriage into Love Marriage...
    Arrenge Marriage ko Love marriage me convert karke hi mujhe aur meri aatma ko shaanti mil sakti hai...

    Ab to bas din raat yahi sochta rehta hu...kaha hogi wo...kaisi hogi wo...bechari...jiske palle mujhe bandh diya jaayega...

    Abhi to bechari wo bhi bahut khush hogi...sapne dekh rahi hogi...but bechari ko kya maalum...Rahul to Rahul hi hai naa...koi sapno ka Rajkumar thode hai...dheere dheere adjust kar legi wo bhi...

    But aap sabhi ko Best of Best of Luck hai humaari ore se.
    FIGHT FOR A BRIGHTER INDIA

  13. #33
    I appriciate ur thoughts Rahul jii.
    Shaadi humare jeevan ka ek sach hai, kuch ise kadva sach maante hai to
    koi ise mitha anubhav batata hai. Sirf humare sochne samjane ka nazariya hai.
    waise jab humare jeevan me koi satya ujaagar hone waala ho aur wo bhi aisa jiska hume barso pahle hi pata ho to....aise waqt ko khubsoorat banane ka hi sochna chahiye, jaisa ki aapne socha hai.
    Hum chahkar bhi shaadi ko mithya nhi sakte , to fir shaadi se bhaagna kyu.....hume to chahiye ki inn aane waale khubsoorat palo ko is tarah se sajoye ki saari jindgi inki yaaden humare dillo me taaza rhe........

  14. #34
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    just to give some food for the thinking people's brain !!!


    if marriage was something that translated all the love and happiness into a blessed life , or something filled with lots of happy moments , why dont we have lots and lots of ideal examples of marriage ???

    I mean iconic examples !! or something like that and y are we suffering from ever increasing divorce rate.


    Now if love ( read it the blessed state :p ) was the solution then all the 20 something affairs ( read it as love ) would have carried for life and resulted into a spiritual bliss.




    Not that i am reading finance and economics at least for 8 hours a day and my mind is captured by it ! but does the marginal utility provides some clue on things that dont happen and which should have happened ???

  15. #35
    Shaadi, or for that matter, any relationship (blood or non-blood) is some sort of compromise. Never forget this and your life would be bliss...

    At some point in life, we do compromise with our parents, our kids to keep life going then why can’t we do that with our spouse. Its perfectly normal I guess. No two individuals can live together in perfect harmony all the time. If they do, both or one of them is not normal.

    I'm failing to recall a pretty similar comment by Brook Shields who is an accomplished model and juggled her life between marriage, career and motherhood. BUt the jest was pretty much the same what I have pointed as to why do we expect marriage to emerge as a perfect relation when our other relations even the blood ones are never perfect. More so, in a marriage the two people are new to each other, different personalities as compared to our blood relations.

    Marrying or not marrying is upto you , your choice (well, I admit not so much in Indian context) but let me tell you I have seen people who choose not to marry and then few years down the lane they feel left out as all their friends are married and settled. And I have seen them going through a lot during that phase which is kind of ugly.

    Anyway, trust me shaadi is not as bad. But If you are aiming for a perfect marriage (regardless of love/arranged) that doesn’t exist …not feasible …Period!
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  16. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by kabir View Post
    Don't you think "one of the charms of marriage is that it makes a life of deception an absolute necessity for both parties?"

    Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
    Oscar Wilde re-born...:p

    And, by the way, the entire life itself is a deception regardless of your eyes wide shut at times...
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  17. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by shwetadhaka View Post
    [the first question is why do we marry?
    To give each other ulcer for the rest of our lives....:D
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  18. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by poonam View Post
    Oscar Wilde re-born...:p

    And, by the way, the entire life itself is a deception regardless of your eyes wide shut at times...
    Wow! Beautiful is an understatement (I am talking about your thoughts:p)
    Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room!

  19. #39

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by poonam View Post
    Shaadi, or for that matter, any relationship (blood or non-blood) is some sort of compromise. Never forget this and your life would be bliss...

    At some point in life, we do compromise with our parents, our kids to keep life going then why can’t we do that with our spouse. Its perfectly normal I guess. No two individuals can live together in perfect harmony all the time. If they do, both or one of them is not normal.

    I'm failing to recall a pretty similar comment by Brook Shields who is an accomplished model and juggled her life between marriage, career and motherhood. BUt the jest was pretty much the same what I have pointed as to why do we expect marriage to emerge as a perfect relation when our other relations even the blood ones are never perfect. More so, in a marriage the two people are new to each other, different personalities as compared to our blood relations.

    Marrying or not marrying is upto you , your choice (well, I admit not so much in Indian context) but let me tell you I have seen people who choose not to marry and then few years down the lane they feel left out as all their friends are married and settled. And I have seen them going through a lot during that phase which is kind of ugly.

    Anyway, trust me shaadi is not as bad. But If you are aiming for a perfect marriage (regardless of love/arranged) that doesn’t exist …not feasible …Period!
    ~
    ~~

    Firstly let me second your thoughts ! Shaadi, like all other relations has to rest on the shield of compromises, and compromise isn’t an appalling word indeed ! It is just a simple task to whittle out a common ground to plunk on, and is a simple give and take gesture.

    And this goes for all kinds of relations. Just imagine even the special relationship of a mother and her child. If her grown up son does nothing to sustain on his own and he goes by his own whims and fancies, then how long can she go on without brooding on him. Give and take is an integral part of all relations, though this give and take may vary in its dimension and breed.

    And really no two individuals can live together in perfect harmony all the time, so the fuss on Jatland is a sign of normalcy. Anyways, that’s also true that a marriage cant be all perfect !

    Well, to further with the discussion the basic query still remains somewhat unanswered till now …….. difficult to explain ! Let me just come at it afterwards. When an arranged marriage is solemnized, there is an initial exchange of ideas between two parties. Then if they find the match mutually appropriate they go forward for the final thing. Then there is a huge pomp and show, all relatives and acquaintances are intimated and then starts a series of wish receiving era, all kind of sumptuous preparations, family give and takes, rituals etc. Then on the final day, the grand celebrations rests with the bride moving to the groom’s place ! Then this continues somewhat further. This is the basic structure of a marriage at least in India.

    Now another side of the coin. Two people meet, they want to live together for the whole life, and their parents are ok with the decision. Now the couple, instead of tying the nuptial knot, moves to a house and starts living together in a so called ‘live-in’ relationship. Their contention being not to invite unwarranted attention and this journey through the majestic merriment. Now, the children born out of such relations are also ‘legitimate’ in legal terminology !

    Now comparing both the situations, what is in marriage that makes it more special than simply going and start living together, what lies in the spirit that makes marriage a strong institution, what is that which makes its resonance sacred and socially accepted ? How must have this concept arose and what for ? And some such questions ………. Yet to be worded….

    I have complete faith in the institution but just wanted to know why we acquire this ‘faith’ naturally !

  20. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by poonam View Post
    To give each other ulcer for the rest of our lives....:D
    ..... and helping each other to heal it ..... :p

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