## Shaadi ##

[shweta123]

just to give some food for the thinking people's brain !!!


if marriage was something that translated all the love and happiness into a blessed life , or something filled with lots of happy moments , why dont we have lots and lots of ideal examples of marriage ???

I mean iconic examples !! or something like that and y are we suffering from ever increasing divorce rate.


Now if love ( read it the blessed state :p ) was the solution then all the 20 something affairs ( read it as love ) would have carried for life and resulted into a spiritual bliss.




Not that i am reading finance and economics at least for 8 hours a day and my mind is captured by it ! but does the marginal utility provides some clue on things that dont happen and which should have happened ???

Who says we dont have enough examples of ideal marriages ! Just the parameters of idealism are variable, hence the term is subjective !

Now, thats a myth that a successful marriage has to be ideal !! It has also been nicely explained by Poonam ....... and we dont find iconic examples because we have never tried to find icons in this field too. If you do, you will surely find many.

There are divorces, there are failed marriages, but just like few specimens of bad parenting cant rule out the importance of 'parenting' as such, similarly, few divorces cant rule out the importance of a 'shaadi' .......

Ye wo ladoo hai jo khaaye wo bhi pachtaaye, jo na khaaye wo bhi .......... ye aise hi nahi kaha gaya hai shayad ! ......... ye aisa ajeeb type ka ladoo kyo hai ?? :p

Well, failing of few marriages dont mean failing of an institution. It simply is failure to accomodate ones spouse and his family in your world of dreams and aspirations, its a personal failure indeed.

[anilsinghd]

Shaadi, or for that matter, any relationship (blood or non-blood) is some sort of compromise. Never forget this and your life would be bliss...

!

That pretty well should sum it up !!

===============================

On the topic :

For all audience :

Not to be hard to the institution of marriage , but Shaadi is a much bigger compromise than u do in other relations.

It somehow curbs your freedom in the sense that u are forced to stay that bit longer to prevent inviting troubles , on the one hand it is good but surely thats not ideal.


I would like to invite views on that "marginal utility " concept. I think it pretty well fits in , in the beginning we have a lot of craze for each other, a lot more passion but as time goes on we tend to be carefree , or to care less ( at least the male counterparts ) whereas due to their high emotional quotient , the females dont degrade themselves ( in the sense of follwing what was earlierthe norm ) !
And hence it just increases the vulnerability of the relationships ! Any comments ?

[gaganjat]

baki chizza ka tai manne is topic mai bera konya...par ik baat bera sai ak photu ghani kassoti chep rakhi sai...kunsa camera le rhe sai:p
batayie jaror..kadde nue kah de ak meri tai twachha ae issi sai

To give each other ulcer for the rest of our lives....:D

[deepakchoudhry]

One View:

Marriage is a man made institution. It was created by man, for man.

Women were treated like property. Rich/Powerful man would be known by how many women he possesed.

The situation was also not helped by constant wars among the nation states. Women would outnumber men in the Society, hence men were allowed to take more than one wife.

The religious authority of the time, to make sure poor man was not deprived of woman, manufactured the system of "marriage" and gave it stamp of religious authority, They made it a sin to acquire other man's wife.

Hindiusm like other religions allows polygamy, Hindus could have more than one wife (without divorce). After independence this was changed by the introduction of Personal Hindu Law.

The idea was to empower women in legally/socially/economically.



to be continued....8 Kind of Marriages

[deepakchoudhry]

There are eight types of marriage described in Manusmriti (Laws of Manu):

• Rite of Brahmana (Brahma) - where the father of the bride invites a man learned in the Vedas and a good conduct, and gives his daughter in marriage to him after decking her with jewels and costly garments.
• Rite of the Gods (Daiva) - where the daughter is groomed with ornaments and given to a priest who duly officiates at a sacrifice during the course of its performance of this rite.
• Rite of the Rishis (Arsha) - when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the brightgroom.
• Rite of the Prajapati - (Prajapatya) where the father gives away his daugher after blessing the couple with the text "May both of you perform together your duties"
• Rite of the Asuras (Demons) - when the bridegroom receives a maiden after bestowing wealth to the kinsmen and to the bride according to his own will.
• Rite of the Gandharva - the voluntary union of a maiden and her lover, which arises from desire and sexual intercourse for its purpose.
• Rite of the Rakshasa - forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses broken open.
• Rite of the Pisacha - when a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or is mentally disbalanced or handicapped

Prajapatya and Ghandharva are pervelent today. Asura/Rakshasha/Pischa are lowly and sinful.

[jagmohan]

It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered?

Sagaai hui Shadi Hui Biwi ghar main aayi ghar SWARG ban gaya aur
main SWARGWASI.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to
Mashook: ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye, main
doobonga to sahara dega

PS: This had been posted earlier on JL. Just a reminder for some of us....

Regards,

JSM

[sumitsehrawat]

Lotpot lotpot :D:D!!
good one []!

It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered?

Sagaai hui Shadi Hui Biwi ghar main aayi ghar SWARG ban gaya aur
main SWARGWASI.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to
Mashook: ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye, main
doobonga to sahara dega

PS: This had been posted earlier on JL. Just a reminder for some of us....

Regards,

JSM

[deepakchoudhry]

It’s customarily said, marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth.

It’s the only crucial relation that bestows upon an individual the freedom to choose the one with whom he or she desires to live together for whole life ! It’s a time-honoured and exultant institution and has come of age and continues to be a tradition still germane.

But still some questions may not be out of place to be asked. To begin with, the first question is why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level, he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for the odd times, and thus inevitable ?

Happiness...We all want happiness and we seek them through relationships, objects or anything else.

If there is no happiness/satisfaction, we will shun it and move forward.

Society have been brainwashed, before by religion and now by media to beleive that marriage is be all and end all of life.

There should be no obligation or pressure of any kind. If one is not cut out for marriage, He or she should not marry.

You talk of certainty, so the only certainty in life is that "there is no certainty".

we can only "hope" for it but have no control over it.

If one is willing to give his/her best then go for it but don't expect anything else.

[deepakchoudhry]

just to give some food for the thinking people's brain !!!

if marriage was something that translated all the love and happiness into a blessed life , or something filled with lots of happy moments , why dont we have lots and lots of ideal examples of marriage ???

I mean iconic examples !! or something like that and y are we suffering from ever increasing divorce rate.


Now if love ( read it the blessed state :p ) was the solution then all the 20 something affairs ( read it as love ) would have carried for life and resulted into a spiritual bliss.




Not that i am reading finance and economics at least for 8 hours a day and my mind is captured by it ! but does the marginal utility provides some clue on things that dont happen and which should have happened ???

I have commented on this before.

Marriage was created, keeping that in time. Cold it may sound but this played a big role so that individuals can give physical / emotional / economical support to each other.

But the game has changed and rules are same, hence there is a clash.

[anilsinghd]

I have commented on this before.

Marriage was created, keeping that in time. Cold it may sound but this played a big role so that individuals can give physical / emotional / economical support to each other.

But the game has changed and rules are same, hence there is a clash.

Would be interesting to hear your thought on the marginal utility concept !!!

And for that matter it is equally applicable to all relationships ! Does not all relationships have to die after the passage of time ? Is nt the gratification ( call it pleasure , satiation , happiness ) declines over time and paves way for the breakage of bond ?