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Thread: ^..^ Pardaa hai pardaa ......

  1. #1

    Lightbulb ^..^ Pardaa hai pardaa ......

    Purdah or Pardaa has been defined somewhere as the practice of preventing men from seeing women. This takes two forms: physical segregation of the sexes, and the requirement for women to cover their bodies and conceal their form. Purdah exists in various forms in the Islamic world and among Hindu women in parts of India.

    In a world where we talk about women empowerment and the likes, this practice of observing pardaa is still prevalent, not even in villages but in big cities too. And a pardaa has nothing to do with the education level of the lady, background of her upbringing, her yearning to follow this system, her reliance in this ritual etc. It’s a self proclaimed instruction that is to be observed to confirm a woman’s integrity, her respect towards her in laws and her adherence to our so called cultural requirements for a good ‘bahu’. :rolleyes:

    I have visited many an areas in Delhi itself, and I often sink into deep thoughts on seeing highly educated girls and women who never come before any men who visit their house unless they are the only ones back home and that too with a big ghoonghat. More surprise hits me to see some women who also work in offices, and are successfully accomplishing their duties and working with all male counterparts around, but when they return home, they take a steep turn to return to their ‘ghoonghat spree’ – an altogether shift in dialect that happens each day and they don’t dare to break this erroneous belief and life moves on. But is this anything more than useless show-off just to please a strata for whom a good bahu is a pardaa wali bahu? And their husbands, ahaa proud of their women ! What is this ? What they think they are doing and proving ?

    And a somewhat funny side to this system is that there are lots of women who lay no stone upturned to pick futile fights with their men folks on trivial issues on a daily basis but still are very punctual about their pardaas ! They do nothing short of just literally hitting them, but with pardaa ! In a nutshell, a pardaa is no pledge of a respect filled person behind it. Its more of a obligation, which often sinks into the shoes of proving a woman’s good moral values, her certificate of observing due respect to her in laws, her pious and rules abiding nature etc.

    Nothing is right or wrong it’s the circumstances that make it so. Lets talk about this pardaa system, the logic behind its origin, how it devolved down the lane of time, how its shape saw many phases and how has it come to rest on the shoulders of today.

  2. #2
    Parda bahut jaroori hai. Mein iska kattar samarthak hoon. :p:D

  3. #3
    ib tai choriyaan salwar-kameez bhi pahrna chod rhe sai...parda tai door ki baat sai :rolleyes:
    ...cant talk about parda till the time we get them back to wearing salwaar-kameez:p

    I believe now the girls are confident enough to handle things (ched-chad karne wale , sit and talk with elders in the family nd stuff) so parda is not that important any more.

    choti-choti families sai aaj kaal , agar ghar ki lugaiyan ae ghungat kare rahengi to bade-bhudda tai kun baat karega. Its good that parda is disappearing now.

    I have really old-fashioned values but I am still against parda but if women are out of parda they need to know how to behave out of it.

    Real parda is 'respect and self-esteem'
    Last edited by gaganjat; March 10th, 2008 at 01:57 PM.
    My way or my way ?

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by gaganjat View Post
    ib tai choriyaan salwar-kameez bhi pahrna chod rhe sai...parda tai door ki baat sai :rolleyes:
    ...cant talk about parda till the time we get them back to wearing salwaar-kameez:p

    I believe now the girls are confident enough to handle things (ched-chad karne wale , sit and talk with elders in the family nd stuff) so parda is not that important any more.

    choti-choti families sai aaj kaal , agar ghar ki lugaiyan ae ghungat kare rahengi to bade-bhudda tai kun baat karega. Its good that parda is disappearing now.

    I have really old-fashioned values but I am still against parda but if women are out of parda they need to know how to behave out of it.

    Real parda is 'respect and self-esteem'
    Chorriyan bhale hi salwar kameez pehanna chod rahi ho, par aise kayi "rich" ghar hain jinki choriyyan te salwar kameej na pehnti par bahuo pe saare kaanoon lagoo hain........ and mind me in well off families ! Undoubtedly, we are getting out of this, but very slowly.

    Even the educated and working husbands want their better half to observe a pardaa when she comes to live at in-laws place because by advocating a no-pardaa, he thinks that he is disappointing his parents.

    Problem lies not in pardaa or no-pardaa, it lies in the mentality behind, the hypocracy that surrounds it and the double standards people adopt as regards to this practice.

  5. #5
    bahut mulajib farmaaya aapne mohtaarma!


    Quote Originally Posted by shwetadhaka View Post
    Chorriyan bhale hi salwar kameez pehanna chod rahi ho, par aise kayi "rich" ghar hain jinki choriyyan te salwar kameej na pehnti par bahuo pe saare kaanoon lagoo hain........ and mind me in well off families ! Undoubtedly, we are getting out of this, but very slowly.

    Even the educated and working husbands want their better half to observe a pardaa when she comes to live at in-laws place because by advocating a no-pardaa, he thinks that he is disappointing his parents.

    Problem lies not in pardaa or no-pardaa, it lies in the mentality behind, the hypocracy that surrounds it and the double standards people adopt as regards to this practice.
    My way or my way ?

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by gaganjat View Post
    bahut mulajib farmaaya aapne mohtaarma!
    Ji mulajib ya munasib na bhi farmaaya hota to bhi ye watan aise hi chal raha hota jaise ab chal raha hai.

    Beherhaal, gaur farmaaiyega janaab ki aap kisi ko 'behave' karne ki taalim nahi de sakte..... khuda ne insaan ko sikhaane ki nemat bakhshi hai par seekhna na seekhna usne bando pe chod diyaa hai.

  7. #7
    hakikat bayaan ki aapne ! bahut khoob , bahut khoob !

    iss waqut mere paas agar sone ki asharfiyan hoti, to aapko ko ik peetal ki asharfi inaam me de deta:p

    Vaise mai khuda ka banda nahi hu aur mere se sekhne ki jarorat bhi mat samajyega.

    Quote Originally Posted by shwetadhaka View Post
    Ji mulajib ya munasib na bhi farmaaya hota to bhi ye watan aise hi chal raha hota jaise ab chal raha hai.

    Beherhaal, gaur farmaaiyega janaab ki aap kisi ko 'behave' karne ki taalim nahi de sakte..... khuda ne insaan ko sikhaane ki nemat bakhshi hai par seekhna na seekhna usne bando pe chod diyaa hai.
    My way or my way ?

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by gaganjat View Post
    ib tai choriyaan salwar-kameez bhi pahrna chod rhe sai...parda tai door ki baat sai :rolleyes:
    ...cant talk about parda till the time we get them back to wearing salwaar-kameez:p

    I believe now the girls are confident enough to handle things (ched-chad karne wale , sit and talk with elders in the family nd stuff) so parda is not that important any more.

    choti-choti families sai aaj kaal , agar ghar ki lugaiyan ae ghungat kare rahengi to bade-bhudda tai kun baat karega. Its good that parda is disappearing now.

    I have really old-fashioned values but I am still against parda but if women are out of parda they need to know how to behave out of it.

    Real parda is 'respect and self-esteem'


    Kya baat hai yaar Gagan... Great

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by gaganjat View Post
    hakikat bayaan ki aapne ! bahut khoob , bahut khoob !

    iss waqut mere paas agar sone ki asharfiyan hoti, to aapko ko ik peetal ki asharfi inaam me de deta:p

    Vaise mai khuda ka banda nahi hu aur mere se sekhne ki jarorat bhi mat samajyega.
    bahut khoob ! .... par 'bahut' to khud hi 'khoob' hota hai ....... :rolleyes:

    Aapki jaraanavaazi ke liye shukriyaa..... ab jabki aap sone ki asharfiyon se mehroom hain, to peetal na de ke diamond ki asharfiyaan baksh sakte hain ....... khair aapki marji ....... aur aap khuda ke bande nahi hain jaan kar taazub hua janaab .... humne suna tha ki har insaan us upar waale ka hi banda hai ....

    Well, its quite Off the topic as is said ..... so lemme come out of this .... any constructive worth sharing philosophy sir, apart from this ? Do you think a girl doesnt respects her father and brother as she is obliged to keep a pardaa from his father-in-law and elder brother-in-law, but not her father and brother? What do you think must have been the logice behind this :rolleyes:

    Well, I personally beleive all the traditions were framed with a logic standing behind them, but as the time passed those logics vanished but the traditions remained and changed shape......

  10. #10
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    why try to fix something that is not broken in the first place

    why fix it when its not broken
    Last edited by umeshkalia; March 10th, 2008 at 03:56 PM.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by umeshkalia View Post
    why fix it when its not broken
    So easy to say let it continue when it appeals some people ! What about the lady who has to put a dupatta all around her head irrespective of the weather around, irrespective of the inconvenience caused and what for, to please someone ! If this pleasing is the case than how is it something better than a road show to please some road side people? :rolleyes:

    I guess, first spend some days, jammed in a duppatta all through the day, work in kitchen with it, go out in your freinds with it and then come back and lets discuss again :rolleyes: ....... "pleasing" as you said is a sick mindset if its so !

    And, if women fail to understand what a man undergoes many a times then is it a predetermined cumpulsory punishment for her inability to be phychologically too fast to read minds precisely !

    I am sorry to say, it is broken and need to be fixed. Step into the shoes of this practice and you will see what it means to be pardaa clad all the times.

  12. #12

    its only a tradition like any other

    hum sab apne bado ki izzat karte hain....phir esa kyon hota hae chhota hi bado se ashirwad lete hain(khas kar bahu saas se)....why is it not the other way round....afterall its only the feelings that matter....

    shadi ke baad ladki hi kyun sasuraal jati hae, ladka aur ladki to barabar hote hain....phir ladke kyon sasural rehne nahi jate......

    ese kyon hota hae ki shadi ki jodi mein mostly ladka ladki se bada hota....y is it not the other way round....normally

    babies are born by women but they mostly are known by father's name...
    there are many societies where children are known by their mothers name (but believe me they haven't shown much progress because of that)

    & finally....the eternal wish of most women......y is it that only women have to give birth to babies....men also should get pregnant.....

    if a simple pardah can keep a family happy, then i don't think its big deal, although yeh kahi nahi likha hae ki...sukhi vivahit jeevan ka raz hae pardah

    but why fix it when its not broken.......its a philosophy that makes life easy

    the basic problem is that women think they are always being bullied....except for a few minority,....baki sach kya hae yeh hum sab jante hain:p but then 19-20 to hota hi hae...

    i am not a great philosopher but....freedom is not choice of action but its responsibilty of decision

    men are also sacrificing a lot which women mostly fail to appreciate....same is true for men also....men hardly appreciate what their women do...

    & that is the problem....its not presence of purdaah that is a problem, actually its absence of mutually admiration and respect that is the problem

    aur jaha tak rivaj ka sawal hae....usi se to culture banta hae....sirf bol dene se nahi hota...let us not change so much ke pehchan hi khatam ho jaye

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by umeshkalia View Post
    why fix it when its not broken
    Oh ..... you edited what you wrote..... anyways, I answered what you wrote.

  14. #14
    sati hona bi ek tradition tha continue rehne dete phir, child marriage bi ek tradition tha kyo 30-30 saal tak baite rehte hai phir karwa lena chaiye , culture jo hai.. ek widow ki shaadi nai hona aur usko zindagi bhar white saari maie sasural rehna bi ek tradition hi tha.. kyo continue nai rakha, chalne dena chaiye tha..

    ek man ko dhoti kurta pehnna bi culture maie hi tha phir kya huwa...

    culture ke naam par ek woman ki life ko narak bana ke rakh diya (mostly in villages ).. culture maie achi cheez bi hoti hai aur buri bi.. aur samjdari yehi hai ki jo buri hai usko mita dena chaiye society se... faltu maie culture ki duwai nai deni chaiye..

    parda warda sab bakwas hai, ek aurat ko ghar maie bado ke samne dang se present hona chaiye yeh baat to samaj maie ati hai lakin bina koi rationality ke chehre ko dhake rehne ka kya matlab..
    “Lead me, follow me or get out of my way”

  15. #15

    Talking

    Perda hai parda hai ... gerat qualli
    Perde main rehne do perda na uthao .....
    Teri chunriya dil le gari....
    Aaja na chole meri chunari sanam

    kaya song thee perda na hota to ye kehaan se bante..

    Aaj kel to parda bhi chhota ho gaya hai .... bike pe baithe ke pichli seat pe ghar walon se bachne ke liye perda kaam aata hai .....

    Perda na hota to bach ke dikaati..

    Sir main dhool se bachhane ke liye parda kaam aata hai ....

    Hum khabhi nahi bolte perda karo .......... i am not a samarthak of parda .....
    koi faayeda nahi hai .........

    aaj kel kehan perda hai ... aaj kel to jeans or tshirt ka milan hi nahi hota hai bechaari dono aapas main milne ko tarasti rehti hain yaar ...... perde ki sir pe nahi kehin or jaroorat hai aaj kel .......kripya t-shirt or jeans ka milan karao....
    Sanjeet Ahlawat
    "Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas." - Marie Curie
    +91 9873485784
    ----
    :p:D

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by sanjeetsparp View Post
    Perda hai parda hai ... gerat qualli
    Perde main rehne do perda na uthao .....
    Teri chunriya dil le gari....
    Aaja na chole meri chunari sanam

    kaya song thee perda na hota to ye kehaan se bante..

    Aaj kel to parda bhi chhota ho gaya hai .... bike pe baithe ke pichli seat pe ghar walon se bachne ke liye perda kaam aata hai .....

    Perda na hota to bach ke dikaati..

    Sir main dhool se bachhane ke liye parda kaam aata hai ....

    Hum khabhi nahi bolte perda karo .......... i am not a samarthak of parda .....
    koi faayeda nahi hai .........

    aaj kel kehan perda hai ... aaj kel to jeans or tshirt ka milan hi nahi hota hai bechaari dono aapas main milne ko tarasti rehti hain yaar ...... perde ki sir pe nahi kehin or jaroorat hai aaj kel .......kripya t-shirt or jeans ka milan karao....
    Nice observation Sanjeet ji ! I heratily wish my plea reaches the culprits ..... Mr. T-Shirt and Miss Jeans ..... kindly hear what Sanjeet sir has to say

    Pardaa is not always bad.... I agree....... undoubtedly.... and specially in situations you mentioned :p .... but lemme tell you ....... at times I have seen such "T-shirt- jeans separate separate" :p type of girls wearing a good ghoonghat when they get married and they say ........ " ye saale budhhe ko kaun samjhaaye" ......... ab bas yehi kehna hai ki aisi haalat shobha nahi deti ..... thoda sa bado ko samajhna chahiye aur bahut saara bacchho ko

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by shwetadhaka View Post
    Nothing is right or wrong it’s the circumstances that make it so. Lets talk about this pardaa system, the logic behind its origin, how it devolved down the lane of time, how its shape saw many phases and how has it come to rest on the shoulders of today.
    Shweta, you have written a good piece. Its the reality that on the one hand some women are doing pardah and on the other she is ripping off each and everything of her inlaws. .... ha ha ek baat yaad aagi ...

    2 dada ke balkan mein rolla ho rahya tha .... ek lugai baddi phool ke batan lag rahi ... Eee manne to karke ghunghat uss buddhe ke marya dhakka padya jake ... ha ha ha

    Mukesh ne bhi sahi kahya ki jo kuritiyan hein unko chod dena chahiye .... lekin

    who will decide what is wrong and what is right. And what will be the parameters for that.

    What we are finding wrong was right for our elders and what we feel to be wrong will be right for our youngers.

    Like Sanjeet said and Sweta also promoted that thought ... but whats wrong in that? Ek admi baniyan pehar ke bahar gaal mein hand sake hai ... er kae to usne bhi upar chadhae rahenge pet kadh ke garmi mein ... ha ha ... to why there should not be a gap between the T-Shirt and Jeans. ha ha ha

    Eeb sari peharen sein jib bhi to wo portion dikhe ee se janani ka.

    Shweta rightly said its not limited to the uneducated ones. Here in UK i have seen many girls from muslims they cover their full heads and even learned ones too. In an interview last year one such girl was there and she was very happy to keep this as its their culture and she find it very cool to wear that.

    Here it comes that its on the person what he feels to wear and what not. In India we still cant accept a women to show off some of her skin or curves. Why its wrong if a lady shows off a bit or when she wear light clothings?

    About its origin, I feel that it started after the arrival of mugals in india ... as the Puri, Ajanta and khajuraho depicts open culture of that time. After that when moguls started looting wealth and ladies also .... then people started keeping their ladies at home to protect them and they took the works outside. This was a sheilding they were providing to their women that seems to be exploitation in todays world. Also there are several stories when a mugal soldier looked at beautiful lady and he took her away ... so they have started covering their ladies too with this Purdah. This was good in those days but bad today. Times changed and now there are different circumstances and so accordingly these necessasities of older days (those become tradition in the mean time ) are now depleting. What I feel is that its only till our parents generation is there and there will be no purdah in our communities in coming 15-20 years. The situation is changing rapidly in villages also.

  18. #18
    "Pardah" .... .ufff!!
    I mean...this ain't mughal period...it's 2008...this practice better be abolished. We actually don't need it.

    Just checkout the attached pic. Beshak tey iske maah Ibraham 'The' Dawood baithya ho [:x]!

    Thanks,
    Sumit
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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  19. #19
    It was the need of hour at that time. Pardaa is not needed any more in the present day society. Education is the only tool to get rid of such customs.

  20. #20

    Purdahh...The hidden beauty

    I have heard it time and again that nothing can be more beautiful than a woman in purdahh.(though said in a different context)..If we abolish this, what will happen to this..we will not have beautiful women around ? wt say :p
    Vikas Gulia
    JAT- Just Adore Them
    "जाट गन्ना न दे, भेली दे दे"

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