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Thread: Should we help beggers?

  1. #1

    Should we help beggers?

    As mentioned in mythology the characters like Karan(who is also known as Daanveer Karan)donated his "kundal kavach" to a sadhu(Lord Krishna) and Raja Bali who gave everything to Vaman(Lord Vishnu).This is what used to happen in ancient time when bhiksu(begger)was never refused,that's the reason Ravan managed to kidnap Sita disguising himself as a brahman mendicant.
    But now things have changed beggers have changed and so are donars.In old times when a person made donations he thought it to be his duty but nowadays if a person is helping a needy person he thinks that he is doing something out of the world.Now most of us,everytime we help a needy,think that we are encouraging begging.But is it true always?We all come across beggers so many times so we keep wondering is he/she really in need!I am sure sometimes we are cheated also.Like when i was in Jaipur two ladies came to me.One of them was pregnant and another asked me for money telling me that the former had labour pains i gave money and they left,within a few minutes one person standing on a distance shouted"She was a liar.She cheats people everyday".So such incidents made me ponder,should i or shouldn't i help if one asks for?
    A few days back i was heading towards my workplace when a lady approached me with her daughter(who was 6-7 years old).The moment i looked at that cute chubby little girl with small eyes she reminded me of my niece who is of same age.Before i could get out of my world of sweet memories one voice interrupted "Could you please help me" i realized it was that lady.She looked like some chinese lady.I replied"How can i help you?"
    She said" My husband is working in Vietnam and my younger daughter is in hospital.I need 60 ringitts to buy medicine for her and i dont have money rightnow".Generally i carry only 50 ringitts with me as Kuala Lumpur is not a very safe city.I started wondering what i should do.I told her that i am a student and dont 60 ringitts.She told me to give whatever amount i can.I took out 10 ringitts and gave her that without looking into her eyes and just left the place.Whole day i was busy working for a flashy glittery wedding and i really enjoyed myself.At the end of the day i was trying to sleep but something within me was restless.I tried to recall all the happenings in the whole day and i got stuck on that lady's incident.I sarted wondering whatever i did,was that right?Did she dupe me or i made a mistake by giving her only 10 ringitts when i could give her more?Eventually i asked myself a question,what will she do with that money if her daughter is not in hospital?Ofcourse she would not go to a pub or disco.She will buy food for herself and her daughter.That innocent face of little girl started flashing on my mindscreen.It was 12 in the night but i wanted to go to the same place.Anyhow i seplt that night and rushed to the same place next morning.I couldn't see those two faces which i was desprately looking for.I broke into tears cursing myself for ignorance and being so selfish.Sometimes i remember this incident and feel guilty.
    I have mentioned this incident not to give you a feel of some interesting article of some newspaper or something but i genuinely want all of you to help people if they ask you for.I dont want you guys to feel the way i felt and regret.Because at the end of the day it doesn't really matter who cheated you but what matters is our karma(deeds).If others(Beggers)will cheat us they will pay for it sooner or later but dont just refrain yourself from doing a good deed only because you doubt if its right or not.Remember everytime you help others,they may forget you but God will never forget to reward you for your noble deeds.So help people when you can.

  2. #2
    You can give them food ... don't give money. If they reject food tell them to FO

  3. #3
    I agree Siddharth but when someone needs medicine or something else then offering food doesn't help.Again i will give u one example.Two months back i went to Indonesia.I went to a place by taxi and was carrying all my money.when i reached there and tried to look for my wallet and cudn't find it.I dint know anyone there.I cudn't understand their language.For a moment i was scared to death as all my money was in wallet.But thankfully i found my wallet after searching for five minutes.What if i would have lost my wallet?Trust me if someone out there would have tried helping me with food also it wudn't have worked for me as people over there are non vegetarian and i am a pure vege and how would i have managed to return back to my place without even a single penny in my hand?And if people would have told me to FO then i swaer i would have died:o



    Quote Originally Posted by sidchhikara View Post
    You can give them food ... don't give money. If they reject food tell them to FO

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by deepika View Post
    and how would i have managed to return back to my place without even a single penny in my hand?And if people would have told me to FO then i swaer i would have died:o
    i don't think that it is difficult to differentiate between a 'beggar' and a person who actually lost his/her money.
    Anyways one can buy a ticket for him/her to the place where he/she intends to go.

  5. #5
    nahi karni chiye .......kise ki help ,:rockbegger ki kati bhi..........kuch na milega tae aap koi nya rasta dundega...ar vo definatly begging tae to badiya hoga chae kuch bhi ho....................:rock

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by deepika View Post
    I agree Siddharth but when someone needs medicine or something else then offering food doesn't help.Again i will give u one example.Two months back i went to Indonesia.I went to a place by taxi and was carrying all my money.when i reached there and tried to look for my wallet and cudn't find it.I dint know anyone there.I cudn't understand their language.For a moment i was scared to death as all my money was in wallet.But thankfully i found my wallet after searching for five minutes.What if i would have lost my wallet?Trust me if someone out there would have tried helping me with food also it wudn't have worked for me as people over there are non vegetarian and i am a pure vege and how would i have managed to return back to my place without even a single penny in my hand?And if people would have told me to FO then i swaer i would have died:o
    I am talking about desi beggars.
    The ones who are forced by their parents into begging. Their parents have a litter of children - so that as soon as they can walk - they can make them start begging. My statements might seem insensitive - but that is the cold hard truth. Similarly maids who work in houses tend to have more children so that they can help them with jhaadu pocha. which means these children remain illiterate and the cycle of poverty is self-sustaining. I am all for helping poor people - but if they display totally retarded, self-destructive behavior - I am not sure what can be done about it. These beggars are not going anywhere - they have not lost their wallets. They are there because their father put them there - they earn more money compared to what he can earn from doing some majdoori work.

    I think Navin bhai may be able to tell analyze the situation better since he has worked with the poor on a personal basis. He does really good work. Navin .. where are you.
    Last edited by sidchhikara; March 5th, 2009 at 11:45 PM.

  7. #7
    sahi keh s rajesh ................inki bilkul bhi madad nahi karni chahiye ....aaj k din inki industry 400 crore s bhi jyada ki hoogayi ..........

    agar aaj hum inki madad karange t kal fer ye dusre ki baat dekhenge .uska koi fayda nahi hai ...inko jab tak khud kam karne ki aadat nahi hogi itne ye nue mang ke kam chalate rahenge ..........manee bahut chore dekhe s ..jo ki 17/18 sal ki umar main sahi tandurost hote hue bhi nue bheekh mange jaan s ....agar ve kite kam kare t mere khyal te bheek t faltu rapiye kama sakee s ....



    to PLZ dont give a single peeny to any begger .help them through foood & clothes


    Think which become obvious in future

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by sidchhikara View Post
    You can give them food ... don't give money. If they reject food tell them to FO
    Sid..they may not understand what FO mean...:p :D


    Anyway, helping a beggar or anyone else for that matter is case specific. Instead of helping a beggar with money, I would rather help him with the stuff he needs ...food, clothes , a rain coat etc for intstance.
    Would never ever give 'em money, even if they need it for medicine, rather will go an extra mile and buy that medicine for them (If I'm really willing to help him). Cant let our hard earned money go waste, who knows what all they are gonna do with that...Most of 'em are fake..:o
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  9. #9
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    Chidiya chonch bahr le gayi , nadi ka ghatyo na neer
    daan diye dhan na ghate , keh gaye daas kabir....


    Not that i am big enough to apply that on myself , but I am a guilty party of probably applying this in some sense. Some of my friends and Navin ofcourse have advised me not to part with any money etc to the beggars and also seeing them do the same thing everyday makes me believe that many of them just fake up!

    Really confused as to what one should do , so can;t contribute much , intently waiting to hear from others and a good culmination to the discussion!


    This might fit the course of discussion!

    Bhookhe ko kachu dijiye , yathashakti jo hoye
    taaku par sheetal vachan , lakho aatma soye ...




    Cheers,
    anil
    Last edited by anilsinghd; March 6th, 2009 at 02:22 AM. Reason: Substantiation

  10. #10
    fewyr ago i was fooled by a woman with the same excuse.she came to me and said thatt i lost my batua buss ke pisse de de betti. i gave her 100 rs..later i was told that this is the new trick used to beg.i was so shocked..bcoz that lady does not look like a beggar
    Quote Originally Posted by sunillathwal View Post
    i don't think that it is difficult to differentiate between a 'beggar' and a person who actually lost his/her money.
    Anyways one can buy a ticket for him/her to the place where he/she intends to go.
    Last edited by ritu; March 6th, 2009 at 02:41 AM.
    " If the loser keeps his smile........
    Then the winner will loose the thrill of the victory.......
    Attitude make the difference......"

  11. #11
    few months back we were at gas station and a stranger came and asked my husband to give money for the gas(patrol).his car was parked rt there but still he insisted that car can not come to the pump.my husband bought him the gas and the plastic container to carry it to the car .but did not give him the actual cash..it takes a little bit effort but we should get the person the thing he is asking rather giving him the cash.
    we should help the person be it a beggar or not with the thing he need or cash if he justifies the need for it and we are convinced.
    " If the loser keeps his smile........
    Then the winner will loose the thrill of the victory.......
    Attitude make the difference......"

  12. #12
    I actually had a similar experience as Deepika but in the end my feelings were totally different. Once when I had just returned from India, I took a tube (metro is called tube in London) for home. I was alone. And this guy comes up to me and asks me in Hindustani, "Aap Pakistani ho?". Maine kaha "Nahin, India se". Fir poochhta hai, "Muslim?". Maine kaha, "Nahin, Hindu". Fir ek-do aur ki India main kahaan se ho, falana dhamkana. Fir bolta hai, "Dekho Bhai mujhe Acton Town pe utarna hai.....apne musalman bhai ne hi thag liya...ki yahaan pe kuchh kaam hai aur fir gayab ho gaya....main aisa kabhi karta nahin hoon ki kisi ko aise tokoon...." Kaafi random baatein thi uski, ab sab yaad bhi nahin hai. Par maine usse beech main kata aur kaha "Bhaisahab, kaam ki baat pe aao, aapka station aane waala hai". To woh bolta hai- "Bhai kuchh paise ho to....ki main yahaan se wahaan chala jaaonga, raat ko kuchh kha loonga....jitne bhi de sakte ho, nahin bhi de sakte to koi baat nahin....apne pakistani muslim bhai ne aisa aisa karr diya...par mujhe sharm nahin aa rahi hai maangne main kyunki meri galti nahin hai...". To fir maine kaha, "Dekh bhai, main zyada se zyada 5 pound doonga....agar jeb main hue toh...5 se zyada hue aur change nahin hua to nahin doonga". Mujhe andaza tha ki mere paas 5 ka note hai, par risk nahin lena chaahta tha ki zyada ho aur woh maang le. Par usne to pehle hi keh diya "Dekh lo, zyada ho aur de sako to...". Khair, meri jeb main 5 ka note nikla aur maine usse de diya. Aur usne shukriya kaha aur utar gaya.

    For some time I felt OK. I don't know what had happened to me. I think it was because I was returning from India. And then this guy was Paki and he was so upfront and honest about how he demanded the money. But after some time, I felt quite stupid and regretted my decision. I don't think I'd have regretted it if he was Indian. But his being a Paki somehow affected me later on (For the record, I doubt I'd have given a single penny if he was English. I have never given anything to any beggar here in UK). I started having all sorts of ideas that I should have atleast made him say Jai Hind. Or say something about Pakistan's stupid attitude towards India. I am more than 95% sure that he was cheating. And the small chance that he was genuine- I couldn't care less!

    I think that beggars are not the only needy people in the world. If one wants to make a positive contribution, one can find so many better ways. But it is tricky..if you are caught in a situation like Deepika described, you'd want someone to help. In fact, I can recall something like that where I needed help. Long time back, when I and my friends were doing summer internships in Europe, we decided to go to Paris and landed there almost at 10 p.m. We had booked a youth hostel before coming to Paris, but we knew jack **** about how to get around in Paris. Plus Paris, for all its romantic notions, is very rude to non-French speakers. We managed to find an Indian restaurant which was closed. We knocked and the Indian owner opened it. We described the situation to him and requested if we could make a call. We offered money for it. He allowed us- we called the youth hostel, got the directions from them. Asked the Indian uncle about it. He said, oh that's in another corner of the city and the metro would stop working in some time. We started getting nightmares about spending the night on Paris streets. And then out of nowhere, he offered to drive us all the way round! We obviously accepted. When we reached, he refused to take money. We were quite touched and touched his feet and clicked photos with him in some sort of spontaneous sentimentality :D...For us, he was the biggest tourist attraction. I wonder if I could have done the same- I'd like to think that I'd have for an Indian- but only time/situation would tell!

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by deepika View Post
    I agree Siddharth but when someone needs medicine or something else then offering food doesn't help.Again i will give u one example.Two months back i went to Indonesia.I went to a place by taxi and was carrying all my money.when i reached there and tried to look for my wallet and cudn't find it.I dint know anyone there.I cudn't understand their language.For a moment i was scared to death as all my money was in wallet.But thankfully i found my wallet after searching for five minutes.What if i would have lost my wallet?Trust me if someone out there would have tried helping me with food also it wudn't have worked for me as people over there are non vegetarian and i am a pure vege and how would i have managed to return back to my place without even a single penny in my hand?And if people would have told me to FO then i swaer i would have died:o
    when i got transfered from pune to gurgaon. i was going back home from office. A middle aged majdoor couple approached me for help. After a quick glance at their attire, i immideately got to know they were marathi's, and changed my conversation in marathi language, and offered them dinner n DTC ticket for Nizammudin station. And, to my surprise, they dinn ask me for any money either. And were surprised how come a haryanvi jat can speak so well marathi.... :-p

    Quote Originally Posted by ritu View Post
    fewyr ago i was fooled by a woman with the same excuse.she came to me and said thatt i lost my batua buss ke pisse de de betti. i gave her 100 rs..later i was told that this is the new trick used to beg.i was so shocked..bcoz that lady does not look like a beggar
    Well, being in india i come across this situation many a times, may be because i wear spects and deemed as bhola-bhala...:-p

    Here at almost every bus stand in Haryana, you'll find old rajasthani ladies demanding for money, having lost their wallet, and no money to buy ticket and go back home.

    I always offer them to buy ticket, instead of 10 bucks, okie tai i'm going by the same bus, i'll get a ticket for you......or i'm also going bus stand , and i'll make you sit in your particular bus with a ticket.

    And thankfully i save money everytime, many a times they get nasty when you refuse, often shower you with obscene comments if you happen to refuse them in harsh words in desi jat dilect...

    Also, big problems are eunichs in trains, specially Delhi-Agra section.

    I, however enjoy sharing food stuff with childrens and old age ppls in train & at stations tea stalls, sitting with them and talking for a while is a good time pass & experience, like they target young newly wed couples, young boy with gf, single travelling yound lady (if she has purse in her hand, n wearing goggles, and if they open a purse and some begger is nearby, you'll definately be targetted...), a full family with childrens, when you purchase something over station stalls and open your purse, and judge single male travellers with their facial expressions & never approach those with tough facial expressions and body language, the one's who doesn't even look at them, pretending as if they aren't there...single old ppls (who'll otherwise start giving lectures, further affecting their business from fellow passengers), single middles aged ladies (who'll shout even at a look), however they approach middle aged ladies, if they're with childrens (coz they'll not shout then, and would rather give them a quick rupee, to avoid their yellings)

    But, i hate fake young men & ladies.......arr jad we pyar te na maante ar dhamkaan pe faltoo bol jaya karein.....to repttta bhi baja diya karu....

    wahe baat sai....jat deve to gud ke bhelli de de, arr na deve de ganne ke khet me badan ale ki taang bhi tod de....:p
    If someone has to kill you, he has to beat you first.

  14. #14
    ek professional beggar aur ek needy person maie differentiate kara ja sake hai.. aur ek needy person ko kisi tareh help karne maie jyada sochna bi na chaiye..

    Log to bhagwan ke bi chadwe hai faltu ka pisa jo sirf black money hi bane hai..mandiro maie chadane se to better hai ise loga ne hi de dyoo…

  15. #15
    Reminds me, one of my fav song by Phill Collins "Another Day in Paradise". Often played as instrumental in Kingfisher trips.

    whenever i see some needy person on street. It's about Million of Homeless ppls on this earth.

    I recommend every one this nice b'ful song.
    .........................................

    ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

    She calls out to the man on the street
    sir, can you help me?
    Its cold and Ive nowhere to sleep,
    Is there somewhere you can tell me?

    He walks on, doesnt look back
    He pretends he cant hear her
    Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
    Seems embarrassed to be there

    Oh think twice, its another day for
    You and me in paradise
    Oh think twice, its just another day for you,
    You and me in paradise

    She calls out to the man on the street
    He can see shes been crying
    Shes got blisters on the soles of her feet
    Cant walk but shes trying

    Oh think twice...

    Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
    Oh lord, there must be something you can say

    You can tell from the lines on her face
    You can see that shes been there
    Probably been moved on from every place
    cos she didnt fit in there
    If someone has to kill you, he has to beat you first.

  16. #16
    Almost everyone had bad habits and spend an amount for it. You spend money for lot of things which worth nothing. Manytimes you lost money which fall from your pocket. You Never thought about that why?
    It is God,s grace that you have something to give to others. So you MUST MUST help others. If out of 100 beggers one is really needy even then it is worthful.So never hesitate to help anyone.

    Parlok sudhar lyo bhot maade karam karo ho ek aadh to sahi bhi karna chaiye.
    Dream is not what you see while sleeping. Dream is that which won't let you sleep

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by rakeshsehrawat View Post
    Almost everyone had bad habits and spend an amount for it. You spend money for lot of things which worth nothing. Manytimes you lost money which fall from your pocket. You Never thought about that why?
    It is God,s grace that you have something to give to others. So you MUST MUST help others. If out of 100 beggers one is really needy even then it is worthful.So never hesitate to help anyone.

    Parlok sudhar lyo bhot maade karam karo ho ek aadh to sahi bhi karna chaiye.
    Kite hi sudar lo ib koi fayeda na hai..bhagwan ne parlok maie swarg ala department to band kar diya hai.. ghana ghate maie chal reha tha yeh.

  18. #18
    Bhai.bad habits per khud earn kar ke spend kartey hai, for self enjoyment or satisfaction...
    Main to bhai janwaraan ne khuan pyan main jyada better samjhu su as Compared to beggers.
    If you are continously help the beggers then u r just maintaining begging as a profession
    Quote Originally Posted by rakeshsehrawat View Post
    Almost everyone had bad habits and spend an amount for it. You spend money for lot of things which worth nothing. Manytimes you lost money which fall from your pocket. You Never thought about that why?
    It is God,s grace that you have something to give to others. So you MUST MUST help others. If out of 100 beggers one is really needy even then it is worthful.So never hesitate to help anyone.

    Parlok sudhar lyo bhot maade karam karo ho ek aadh to sahi bhi karna chaiye.
    Lost my cell..All are requested to send your contact details with name pls...

    Happiness is not something you find, It's something you create.

  19. #19
    BEGGARS? are we discssing about PREFESSIONAL BEGGARS or JUST THE NEEDFUL in some EMERGENCY? The word BEGGAR is not that SIMPLE as it used to be may be 20-30 years back. We are aware of the new term Professional beggars....aren't we? When this term come to your mind....what do you feel? Do you feel the genuine urge of helping a BEGGAR?

    Whether we agree/ disagree Human nature is WE WANT HELP BUT DON'T WANT TO HELP This statement doesn't include those WHO HAVE BEEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION THAT OF A BEGGAR.

    How can you DECIDE/ DEFINE needs of a BEGGAR?
    How much WE SHOULD HELP? and HOW FAR?
    Should we offer Monetary or Non-Monetary help?

    Most of the time WE HELP to get a DIVINE FEELING of self soul-satisfaction that we're GREAT HUMANS. This feeling of greatness captures our mind SOMETIMES ONLY or we wold see ourselves giving away everything we POSSESS and END UP WITH NOTHING for ourselves. How many of us can do that? Lok-Parlok sudharna? By giving few coins or few rupees to SOME PHYSICALLY FIT/ MENTALLY LAZY NERDS who collect money in the day and sleeps fully drunk at night? just rest on their BUMS on roadside and traffic-lights? Who jumps up to your vehicle at every red-light and who EVEN EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAIL INTELLIGENT EDUCATED PEOPLE IN THE NAME OF GOD AND RELIGION? By having a RUSTED PIECE OF IRON IN their pot in name of SHANI DEV? Hanuman's picture on Tuesday and so on?

    If we get carried away and feel like helping then WHY ASK YOURSELF? If you REALLY want to help then either give whatever they ask for or JUST DON'T GIVE. But IF we give what they ask for then- "Will it still be HELPING A BEGGAR?" Wont it be fulfilling THEIR DEMANDS NOT NEEDS? Now please dont look surprised that what is the difference between NEED & DEMAND?

    Even if we want to probe into their actual need we would fail, surely. Who has got the time to go to a beggar's hutment to see if he actually needs money for someone sick back home?

    A help with 100 doubts and questions in mind in not a help because the feeling of satisfaction is missing when we suspect beggars.

    I wont give any incidents of my experience with beggars as more or less they are similar.

    A question to all who want to help beggars- How do we trust beggars when in this fast pace materialistic life people don't trust and understand their near n dear ones? As it is said CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME....look around there may be worse cases in neighborhood than beggars.


    I'm waiting fo Navin to throw some light on the topic as he's running an NGO ADAA for helping Street children

    I won't like to help beggars in the fashion ALL OF YOU DID AS THIS WILL BE GIVING A NEGATIVE MOTIVATION TO A NEGATIVE PERSON WHO WANTS TO BE LAZY FOR ALL OF HIS LIFE AND LIVE HAPPILY ON OUR HARD-EARNED MONEY
    Last edited by sunitahooda; March 6th, 2009 at 01:37 PM.
    I AM WHAT I AM....JAT.... 16X2=8

  20. #20
    i wanted to add this beautiful song as well but thought it would make my thread so long that people might not read itanyways thanks for adding this one.



    Quote Originally Posted by ssgoyat View Post
    Reminds me, one of my fav song by Phill Collins "Another Day in Paradise". Often played as instrumental in Kingfisher trips.

    whenever i see some needy person on street. It's about Million of Homeless ppls on this earth.

    I recommend every one this nice b'ful song.
    .........................................

    ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

    She calls out to the man on the street
    sir, can you help me?
    Its cold and Ive nowhere to sleep,
    Is there somewhere you can tell me?

    He walks on, doesnt look back
    He pretends he cant hear her
    Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
    Seems embarrassed to be there

    Oh think twice, its another day for
    You and me in paradise
    Oh think twice, its just another day for you,
    You and me in paradise

    She calls out to the man on the street
    He can see shes been crying
    Shes got blisters on the soles of her feet
    Cant walk but shes trying

    Oh think twice...

    Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
    Oh lord, there must be something you can say

    You can tell from the lines on her face
    You can see that shes been there
    Probably been moved on from every place
    cos she didnt fit in there

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