Dear, beloved ma... (February 11, 1994)

Sitting each day by your bedside,
I see your frail body so helplessly lie.
Fighting and gasping for every single breath,
You relentlessly struggle to elude the claws of death.
For one who just the other day was up and around,
You seem to have lost all the zeal abound.

Your eyes are weary, and laden with pain,
Your heart is aching and wandering in vain.
You gaze at the ceiling knowing not your ails,
Gratefully acknowledging life's adventurous sails.
Worldly attachments still clutching so high,
You converse with Almighty through your only sigh.

Unable to control your weary emotions,
Tears of sorrow reflect your devotions.
You say you have been lucky all your life,
For all you ever wanted was for us all to shine.
You seem to have made peace with the days gone by,
But the silent spectator knows the pain you hide.

Failing to believe, that this same person,
Was the one who once made me into a person?
You are the one who once took care of my needs,
Treading the crossroads, and guarding my deeds.
You held my hand when I could barely walk,
You were my voice when I couldn' even talk.

As you lie there so helpless and frail,
A part of me dies watching you not able to inhale.
If you are so divine as to give me life,
How can you now not cling to your own life?
Some things you said and the things you didn't..
Some so bold, others with no apparent hint.

You once told me this world will go on,
Even if someone dear couldn't come along.
You said life is like a day with sunlight so bright,
But death is certain as the shadow of the night.
Of all the things that can't be cured,
One must be brave, so they are endured.
What has beginning, must come to an end,
This is the eternal truth, we must all understand.

Ever so gently, ever so kind,
I squeezed your lifeless hand in mine.
Although cold, clammy and fragile,
Yet I could feel the warmth left behind.
You never said a word, just looked around,
Sure enough I could read all that was on your mind.
Oh dear mother, oh creator of my life,
Why so painful is this final good bye...
In my heart you shall always survive,
Until such time that in heaven we reunite...

For my mother who died on Febraury 11, 1994