Same Gotra Marriages

[ssindhu]

it's in context to a thread fathered by BLS

http://www.jatland.com/forums/showth...811#post145811

d moot concern abut soaring 'same gotra marriage' is a timely issue mindful of all latest heinous diktats floated by panchayats in haryana...

d phenomenon is on rise since mor n mor youngsters r defying dis system of gotra matching. it mayb social conditioning tht i hav been accepting it a holy creed. on personal front, i believe there is no harm if leave mum n dad's gotras...since we r mor related 2 dese two's kiths n kins...dadi's of course is outdated...bt thn dadi's cn b since tht's 2 distant...bt if dadi's cn b defied y nt mum n dad's. bt i personnaly think tht marriage in same gotra will adulterate d sanctity of bro-sis n other realtions...i alwaz amazed at mohomaddans tht hw cud they call a fellow hubby whom they hav been calling bhaijaan... wat abut tht 'feel'. i dnt feel any vibes if i m sitting wid my bro, i dnt evn realise tht we r boy n girl...i mean tht differnce of gender dsnt crop up which is very holy n sanctitious. hw cn u feel tht sensual thing abut a guy whm u hav been considering bhai...i just cnt understand n in our territories we hav been calling all guys of same gotra bhai or sum other kin...


nw wat torments me is i personally cnt accept dis culture...bt thn being a democratic citizen, i just want 2 brain strom on dis timely issue wid all of u...wats ur views on same gotra marriage.

(PS: thou i dnt accept it a gud culture. bt yt i dnt mind if others do it. it's ok if a neighbor does so as long as it dosnt happen in my family. i m partially (nt in my family) against it).

[rohit62]

seema ,i do agree with u ,an am a firm beliver that same gotra marriages shuld be avoided as far as possible.
in the not too distant future however the gotra,s will take a back seat .what with jats marrying girls frm ,kerala,MP,bihar, etc i think v are in danger of becoming a mixed race in the not so distant future

[ssindhu]

seema ,i do agree with u ,an am a firm beliver that same gotra marriages shuld be avoided as far as possible.
in the not too distant future however the gotra,s will take a back seat .what with jats marrying girls frm ,kerala,MP,bihar, etc i think v are in danger of becoming a mixed race in the not so distant future

rohit my concern is no mix race...infact that's a wellcome step, my turmoil is today as ppl r defying gotra, very soon they will bring a culture of getting married wid cousins...n i hav problem wid tht only (bt only if it happens in my family, no objects 2 others). i meant thn one wont b comfortable sleeping in same room wid a bro in own family...coz in my case we ppl live so neutral nt mindful of gender, i dnt feel evn a bit of discomfort if i sleep on same bed wid my bhais...bt thn we cnt evn sit proximately wid other guys...so my point was tht whn u marry, it's d diffrnce between gender which is realised first...so hw cn same gotra ppl cn b think of d feeling...since if i call a boy bhai, i just 4gt tht he is boy...which is a holy feeling...n cnt b followed in marrige...bit intricate 2 jott dwn feeling n vibes in wrds, bt hav tried my best 2 convey tht...it's so unnatural 2 call a fellow shohar whm u hav been calling bhaijaan...hw cn 1 think of sleeping wid a guy who was entitled 2 get a raakhi

[VPannu]

I put the same question to my Nani once.She said this has been prevalent ever since and another point which she told was that we dont marry in same gotra to produce better offsprings. If the boy and girl come from the same clan then its much likely that they resemble each other biologically or maybe even physically. So scientifically thinking whatever she said was right in my opinion. For the sake of example, lets assume that a girl from gotra X is a bit short, or maybe have a dark complexion,and if she gets married in X itself then there is no denying fact that the kids would resemble the parents.That was about all about the improving our race but whatever has been said above is true "adultering the sanctity of relations".
Moreover the root of one clan was the same person, so if you think it that way one is related to another. Now please dont come up with Adam and Eve theory here. This thing happens in punjus and muslims. So please dont be one of those:o

[rohit62]

seema ,i don think that it will ever happen in our society of bhaijaan becoming shohar, no way ..as far as the society u r talking of where its happening ,well the practice has been going on for centuries and will go on fr centuries u an i can do nothng abt it so y loose sleep over it.an theres is much closer relations then gotras, hope u understand

[cooljat]

Very well explained Pannu Bhai!!
Certainly there're scintific reasons associated with the issue!!
I strongly believe that 4 Gotra (urself, ur mother, ur dadi, ur nani) should be avoided for restoration n betterment of our RACE....this is very much logical too one can get info frm any Genetic scientist

Rock on
Jit

PS- I guess Dr. Poons may provide some scientific facts here as she is in Genetic research field, Poons where r u??

I put the same question to my Nani once.She said this has been prevalent ever since and another point which she told was that we dont marry in same gotra to produce better offsprings. If the boy and girl come from the same clan then its much likely that they resemble each other biologically or maybe even physically. So scientifically thinking whatever she said was right in my opinion. For the sake of example, lets assume that a girl from gotra X is a bit short, or maybe have a dark complexion,and if she gets married in X itself then there is no denying fact that the kids would resemble the parents.That was about all about the improving our race but whatever has been said above is true "adultering the sanctity of relations".
Moreover the root of one clan was the same person, so if you think it that way one is related to another. Now please dont come up with Adam and Eve theory here. This thing happens in punjus and muslims. So please dont be one of those:o

[ssindhu]

jit so far there were 3 (mum, dad n grandma). u hav made it 4...abbe naani ka te na suna tha

[ssindhu]

seema ,i don think that it will ever happen in our society of bhaijaan becoming shohar, no way ..as far as the society u r talking of where its happening ,well the practice has been going on for centuries and will go on fr centuries u an i can do nothng abt it so y loose sleep over it.an theres is much closer relations then gotras, hope u understand

UN folks talk a lot on "understanding". lolllllllllll

[cooljat]

Seema here in Rajasthan we skip 4 gotras, ie Nani ka bhi taalte hain!!

moreover Gotra-bhaichara ka bhi berra hoga tane?!
like- Deswal,Siyag,Dalal n Maan dont marry each other same like Kadwa,Kadvasara,Bhagasra,Dahiya and to add Takhar, Sewda also dont do!!

Rock on
Jit

jit so far there were 3 (mum, dad n grandma). u hav made it 4...abbe naani ka te na suna tha

[dkumars]

Seema, gud topic to start but am not clear what exactly ur quest is ?
U r partially agreed with this same gotra practice but worried abt shohar and bhaijaan relation, so i cudn understand ur doubts.

Anyways I wanna share my views.
This is the culture and environment/surroundings where u r grown up. Logically if u see this is an acceptance of our brain and our brain accept what we see in our closest society and a lot more on ur own mentality which might be influenced by different ppl.
If some practice is very common in one society, ppl who r bonded up with that society will never feel it awkward but may be that is not common in ur/our society so u feel that how can one be tempted/feel with sitting with a guy who used to be her bro.
And the way our community evolved might be different than theirs. In south India also some decades back marrying a gal with her mama was a common tradition. Biologically dats nt appreciable but they had their own thoughts on that culture. So in this case a gal who used to play in someone hands who was like her father is now her husband. It looks very unfair practice coz nt common in our culture but they don feel the same coz they see it daily happening with others so nt a gr8 thing if happen to themselves.
Biologically, as in above quote Vivek discussed that the same gotra ppl carry some common traits of some genes which may be weaken if they mate and may be that gene will be suppressed in the offspring. But again if we go biologically then the best individual can be produced by two totally diversified castes/religion. If north and south mate, it may give rise to best individuals having strong traits from both the parents.

But biology and society are two different things. We cant go according to biological laws always. Secondly, these social norms/laws are also made keeping all these concept in mind.

[ssindhu]

Seema here in Rajasthan we skip 4 gotras, ie Nani ka bhi taalte hain!!

moreover Gotra-bhaichara ka bhi berra hoga tane?!
like- Deswal,Siyag,Dalal n Maan dont marry each other same like Kadwa,Kadvasara,Bhagasra,Dahiya and to add Takhar, Sewda also dont do!!

Rock on
Jit

itna te gyan kona rayban manne. lol

[cooljat]

hehehehehe :D tu bhi le aa ek Ray-ban tane bhi aa jaawega Gyaan sa :p
Enlightment ho jaaga.....aur aankhya bhi naa kharab hogi high-beam te

nywas jokes apart....very gud thread started!!

way to go....


Rock on
Jit

itna te gyan kona rayban manne. lol

[ssindhu]

hehehehehe :D tu bhi le aa ek Ray-ban tane bhi aa jaawega Gyaan sa :p
Enlightment ho jaaga.....aur aankhya bhi naa kharab hogi high-beam te

nywas jokes apart....very gud thread started!!

way to go....


Rock on
Jit

ha ha. rayban laaye te gyan baddhe hai...oh teri jibbe main kahu saare beaurocrats rayban kya te pehre reh hai...er dawood te kadde bhi na taarta...jannu eye disorder lens e rayban frame mae fit karwa rya ho

[deepakchoudhry]

Seema,

If you go deep down, somehow we are all related. Similar races have same gene pool.

In the end to leave 3 or 4 Gotras will become impossibility.

As mentioned above, Gotra ka sanskaar is based on scientific / social issues than moral or emotional.

if someone keeps marrying in same gotra how will you propagate your gotra, form new alliances and enhance genetic pool.

In India there are Hindus groups in the south who marry within the family so its not that it only happens in muslims or christians.

Deepak

[ssindhu]

guys u r straying frm point...i understand ur points...i was laready aware of these logics...all i wanted is if u r with/withut on dis issue n y in either case

[deepakchoudhry]

I think I have made the point...Marrying to cousin's happens all over the world. so its upto individual thinking and social conditioning.

It is individual's choice.

[dndeswal]

itna te gyan kona rayban manne. lol

Itna gyan kona to ye thread kyon start ki thi Seema ji ?

'Gyan' is a unique word and it does not mean 'knowledge' - it is something deeper human sense. On social matters, an illiterate Tau may have more 'gyan' than a convent educated youngman/ women (like most of us). Our society is very vast, complex, and mature. While it is rigid on certain issues (like being against same-gotra marriages), it is also open to new ideas.
.

[jitendershooda]

(PS: thou i dnt accept it a gud culture. bt yt i dnt mind if others do it. it's ok if a neighbor does so as long as it dosnt happen in my family. i m partially (nt in my family) against it).

Seema wo Shiv Kheda ka ek quote hai .... aagar aap apne pados mein ho rahe attyachar ho dekh kar chup rahete hein to agla nishana aap hein ....

So its not that ki sirf mein bach jaon .... wo bade-buddhe nue kahya karein ek bhai ya to doob aali naal hai er jat kite na kite ristedari mein jude paae jaan hein .... to sehaj sehaj kade issa bhi time aa jyaga jib apne ghar mein bhi aa jya issa koe .... so better not to appreciate this trend at all either in our family or others.

Haan aur jo purani ghani sari aant hoya karti we to sehaj sehaj chodani padengi ....kyonki itne mushkil te to riste mile hein aaj kaal er usmein bhi nue nukta cheeni karenge nani ....bhai chare ke 5 gotra ..... etc etc to apne aale balak aape koe bahar ke dekhan lag jyange .... to what I feel for your thread is that ..... We should avoid the close ones as you said ...i.e. Apna, Maa er dadi ka .... er kae jagah to dadi ka bhi chodan lagge .... Some elders can put their views with more wisery as they have seen all this and they might have better view of the lackings in the past system ,.... what should be the customised approach in todays world .... samae ke sath thoda to relax karna padega .... jukar pache jonadhi ... er assudhe ki panchayatan ke bachkane faisale they .... these old strong traditions of jats should be a bit relaxed and openly admitted by the panchayats ...so as to provide young generations more options among themselves only.

[ssindhu]

Itna gyan kona to ye thread kyon start ki thi Seema ji ?

'Gyan' is a unique word and it does not mean 'knowledge' - it is something deeper human sense. On social matters, an illiterate Tau may have more 'gyan' than a convent educated youngman/ women (like most of us). Our society is very vast, complex, and mature. While it is rigid on certain issues (like being against same-gotra marriages), it is also open to new ideas.
.

sir aapki 'gyan' ki 'tangible' definition se kuch yaad aa gaya sung by manna dey "kahte hai gyani, jeevan hai paani, paani pe likhi leekhayi...hai sabki dekhi, hai sabki jaani...haath kisike na aayi...haath kissike n aayi..." (PS i ddnt doubt anybody's 'gyan' tht u wrote in such sarcastic way)

[jitendershooda]

guys u r straying frm point...i understand ur points...i was laready aware of these logics...all i wanted is if u r with/withut on dis issue n y in either case

Itne motte aksar .... hey raam ,..... itni tawli Jua kyon bagaya kare tun ,.... aachi mastarni aai kisse ne kime kahen ee na deti ..... manne jo sawal boojhya sirf utna batao ...faltu koe nahi bolega .... ha ha .... ghani tatti na khaya kar tun bahmna ki dhala ... sehaj sehaj sare batavenge apni apni samajh ki .... ya maul te mille na kite ....